I am not ashamed of anything I have done

Many have asked me, "Did you feel sad or bad that all of those things were happening?" When I first heard about all the news about my lips, I was in New Zealand. On my return, my publicist and manager said, "Why are you ignoring it? It has really become big. Then I started reading it. It was so stupid! Some things were funny, some were really harsh. You are sitting behind your computers, nobody knows who you are and you are passing an opinion on me? You think you know who I am? So let me also give my opinion.

I am not ashamed of anything I have done. I have done it for a reason which is best known to me. When the film [Bombay Velvet] comes out, people might agree with it or not. That’s also fine. It is still my decision. It was a temporary thing. Whereas people started making it out to be a surgery which seems to suggest that I have gone to LA and done stuff. Then they started talking about my jaw, nose and everything. The word surgery was pushing it too far. I don’t like getting bullied and I don’t like bullies. I didn’t want to be quiet. I just didn’t accept the reaction that it brought out with people saying, "That’s courageous and bold of you".

I was irritated that the focus was being taken away from my work. I’m doing really good work right now. So let’s talk about that.

I actually was a bit intimidated by Aamir Khan but not during shooting [of PK]. He doesn’t start a conversation with you. I am never going to be on backslapping terms with someone who is not my peer. I find him extremely sharp and intelligent. I respect him a lot for the films that he does.

Rajkumar Hirani is another person who commands respect. He is very gentle like his films. Writing is the most important thing about making a film. Everyone ignores that. We don’t even give enough credits to the writers. But he and Abhijat [Joshi] were so focused on the script. Every day they would tweak the scene and try to make it funnier. That’s the way it should be. That’s what makes your film Lage Raho Munnabhai and 3 Idiots. I could see in the way he directs me how he captivates his audience. Every bit of information he gives for a shot is to the point and is there for a reason.

Before Band Baaja Baaraat released I made a list of directors I wanted to work with. I told myself if people like me in this film, they will want to cast me in their films. I only want to work with the best directors because that means I am working in good films or I will work with great scripts even if it is a new director.

My brother Karnesh has always had better knowledge of movies than I did. He worked in the merchant navy. So he would be away for long and watch many films. He has been this quite person whose hand I have been holding in this journey of mine in cinema. He has told me what films I should and shouldn’t do. His script sense is superb. I am glad we are doing this together.

But not everyone supported my decision to start my own company at 25. Problem is that people keep looking at it as a crutch. They think actors do these things because they want to elongate their careers. Someone told me that you should do this at the end of your career. I thought it was completely absurd.

I watch a lot of movies. There are many that I think have commercial viability in Hindi cinema. I want to be able to make those films. I want to make films about women who are so layered as individuals. Why aren’t we making films like Frances Ha or have characters like those seen in [HBO TV series’] Girls. In our films, women are there because of a boy. He is the pinnacle point.

Producing was always on the back of my mind. It is when I came across NH10, written by Sudip Sharma and to be directed by Navdeep Singh of Manorama Six Feet Under. I hadn’t seen Singh’s work but when I heard the script I was impressed. It was just an instinct. I told my manager I also want to produce it. I want to back it all the way. I just don’t want to act and go. That’s how much I love the film. I was like let’s put all the chips on the table. If it works it works; if not then I’m willing to take that risk. I am not going to be working in all the films I produce. That’s not going to be the case. I am a very busy actor. We [Karnesh and I] are interested in a lot of scripts which we are developing.

I was a young actor when these roles of a vivacious girl came to me. I was choosing the roles which were coming to me. If I played them serious or crazy, then I would be asked to leave the set. I was playing the characters as they were.

After a while as an actor you get pakaaoed [bored] doing the same thing again and again. I want to have fun. I have to live my life. I have to do different things. It must be said that the directors, who I am working with right now, saw Band Baaja Baaraat and signed me for these different roles. I am glad these directors saw an actor and chose to cast me.

In Bombay Velvet, I play a jazz singer. Bombay Velvet was especially a challenge. I got scared. I used to tell Anurag [Kashyap], "Talk to me. Let’s do some workshops. I have not lived this life, I don’t know what this girl has gone through and I don’t know what it feels like". He was like, "Tu bas set pe aaja". After three days of shoot, he said, "Did I tell you anything on how to play Rosie? No, right? You did it na. I picked you because I knew you could do it."