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No, seriously. Mrs Shami must never have worn that gown

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Kudrat Sehgal
Kudrat SehgalDec 27, 2016 | 21:12

No, seriously. Mrs Shami must never have worn that gown

One of India's leading fastest bowlers, Mohammed Shami bowled us all over with his classic troll-slamming with just one tweet. All in the name of a gown - a sleeveless, "un-Islamic" gown that his wife wore in a picture posted on Facebook.

He was lambasted on Facebook for the picture and for going against the tenets of his religion. For allowing a woman to be dressed (in)appropriately if you may. Sigh.

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What followed was a debate on religious sexism, suppression of women and moral policing in a day and age where German ministers refuse to wear a burqa in Saudi Arabia because, well, freedom to wear what you want, silly. But the debate took an outrageous turn when a hilarious exchange of tips on fashion, winter- and summer-appropriate clothing followed.

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She went about ruining everything fashion ever stood for - one shimmering frame at a time. Photo: Mohammed Shami/Facebook

And Imam council chairman Maulana Qasmi was literally off his rocker (or er... boxers) when he asked India Today TV's Rahul Kanwal why he wasn't wearing his knickers while anchoring.

Food for thought, Maulana Qasmi. This calls for a fashion revolution in the industry. Imagine our anchors on prime time TV anchoring in shorts. And why not?

Imagine #ArnabInBoxers in Republic. Imagine the TRPs. Or, well don't.

Why is Sania Mirza allowed to play in her short skirt and let heavens fall, she is Muslim, married to a Muslim from Pakistan! Why wouldn't she wear a burqa? Aren't we done with this tripe, Mr Qasmi? The Dangal girls are breaking records, fighting in their knickers - and raking in the moolah. So, Mr Qasmi, knickers could be the next big thing. And we'll probably thank you for it.

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Because why discuss religion, bigotry and other such not-so-fashionable topics. Mr Qasmi is hinting at a whole new fashion revolution in the newsroom!

Does the Maulana think of our Bollywood Khans as good Muslims? Would Maulana Qasmi please elaborate and give a lesson or two on fashion ethics and code of conduct to them, please? To Salman Khan in his shirtless sculpted best, maybe? Mr Qasmi, speak wisely, if you must.

And, while the debate on the prime time show was more about knickers versus fully-clothed people in the winter chill, Twitter emerged as a winner. Seriously?

From defending all sorts of freedom, women empowerment, progressive society, feminism, and then Twitterrati going berserk congratulating the bowler for defending his wife's choices more than anything else, there were also emotional outbursts on how the man won us a match while his child was unwell - yet he played for the country with all his might!

Hence, Twitter at its theatrical best, in the classic Game of Thrones fashion, defended everything that is, clothes, accessory, jewellery, looks, expression to fashion choices. The keepers of religion stunned to silence.

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And, why?

All, in the name of an innocuous, not-so-glamorous, sleeveless gown that Mrs Shami decided to wear, thinking it was straight from a Cinderella story (or the leftovers from the Wizard of Oz series). A fashion disaster, to say the least.

Take a look at the gown and ask yourself, Mr Qasmi: is becoming a jester on national television for this gown even worth it? Think again. Rather, look again. Mrs Shami looks like she battled the good Muslim versus bad Muslim debate and came out victorious - donning a piece of clothing that looked like a gown, but essentially could just be a salwar kameez without a dupatta. This should calm your raging nerves, Mr Qasmi.

Are Twitterati insane? Congratulating the couple for the photo and their choices is one thing, but her choice of gown? It can bring shame to the entire fashion industry in one go. It's like she is Lindt wrapped in a Kismi toffee bar. It's more like the Indo-western outfit that you see many boisterous Punjabi women wearing at wedding receptions.

It brings shame to every groundbreaking designer on the face of the earth - imagine the strapless gowns Mainbocher and Christian Dior. No, imagine the sensuous sway of Mohenjo Daro's Dancing Girl - in her fine, strapless best!

So, let's drop the hypocrisy, dear Twitter. Get real. Let's just compliment the lady for giving two hoots to religious bigots - while she went about ruining everything fashion ever stood for - one shimmering frame at a time.

Last updated: December 28, 2016 | 14:23
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