What, no war with Pakistan? Why it's the worst time to be a Modi bhakt
Nothing gets a bhakt’s blood raging than a cute little border war with Pakistan, with a generous sprinkling of the word “nuclear” that a burning window in the idiot box can play with as if ping-pong. The hashtag warriors trending many a battle bugle nevertheless had to eat digital dust.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi, in a case of serial betrayal against his most loyal and devoted followers – also known as “bhakts” in the Indian media and social media circuits – declared that if there would be war, and sure would there be not one but two, let it be against, lo behold, “poverty”, “illiteracy”, “health issues”, “for sanitation” and what not.
I want to talk to the people of Pakistan from here today: PM Narendra Modi pic.twitter.com/QZZOEwF0rQ
— ANI (@ANI_news) September 24, 2016
In the big, bad world of political theatre, promising a war and not delivering it does count as huge let down. It’s expecting a Salman Khan blockbuster and getting a whimpering Nawazuddin Siddiqui instead – cerebral, but hardly suiting the 56-inch chest types.
In the wake of Uri attack, in which 18 Indian soldiers were killed, one of the biggest and most heinous attacks on the Army in a decade, Prime Minister Modi, contrary to the expectations of the staggering bhakt farm of digital dolts, equally divided between mainstream and social media, opted for not blowing Pakistan to smithereens but well, “strategic restraint”.
To the great annoyance and surprise of the bhakts, not only is Modi’s strategic restraint a direct continuation of the Manmohan Singh-led UPA’s Pakistan policy, it is, in fact, fuzzier and quite directionless. The ad hoc improvisations that Modi sarkar resorts to from time to time look like copy-paste rehash jobs of the Congress-led era, interspersed with high-voltage Hindutva-laced nationalism parlour games.
Leading to utter and absolute confusion of a genuine, unadulterated, cow worshipping, RSS-loving bhakt, who reposed in Narendra Modi his undying faith to build a Hindu Rashtra obliterating difference gastronomic, religious but certainly not of caste.
Let’s look at the volte-faces that Narendra Modi has made since he took the prime minister’s office on May 26, 2014.
To begin with, PM Modi, unlike CM Modi, went on a South Asia wooing tour that started with Nepal and ended with him shaking hands with Pakistan PM Nawaz Sharif, who descended on New Delhi for Modi’s coronation, sorry, swearing-in ceremony. As Indian and Pakistani media went berserk measuring the warmth of that firm handshake, bhakts went into a tizzy of befuddled wrath.
What? Hindu Hriday Samrat chumming up with the archenemy? Given that CM Modi had time after time singled out the ogre that was Pakistan and its political class, this was the first jolt for the poor bhakts.
But what’s bhakti if not blind? If not reposing faith at all times? In an instant, PM Modi was transformed from a chest-beating Hindutvawadi to the new face of South Asian statesmanship, already surpassing Jawaharlal Nehru in class and stature. Ever since, PM Modi has been the contender-in-chief for the Nobel Peace Prize, as far as the bhakts are concerned.
As the months that followed witnessed many a sundry signature campaigns bearing the indelible watermark of CM Modi – such as ghar wapsi, love jihad, war against liberals, murders of writers such as MM Kalburgi, Narendra Dhabolkar and Govind Pansare, the bhakts couldn’t hide their joy. On social media, as on the streets, vigilantism spilled over, Akhlaq was lynched to death and authors started returning their awards en masse.
PM Modi remained stoically silent at all times, and bhakts were happily egged on.
But then he made a surprise visit to Lahore where Nawaz Sharif’s granddaughter was getting married, and it was the Pakistan PM’s birthday to boot. There were “optics” – another word for the public relation machinery greased by mainstream and social media’s relentless fawning, and once again the bhakts were left twiddling their thumbs.
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| Prime Minister Narendra Modi with Pakistan PM Nawaz Sharif in Lahore in December 2015. [Photo: PTI] |
They couldn’t fathom what exactly was PM Modi thinking, especially as CM Modi was relatively easier to read.
Biriyani diplomacy notwithstanding, as Modi’s statesmanship once again got the nods and even Arnab Goswami gave the PM his thumbs up, came the Pathankot attack. India’s biggest airbase in Punjab was infiltrated with terrorists from across the border, and seven soldiers gave their lives in a protracted four-day battle, even though the National Security Advisor Ajit Doval micromanaged the counter-terror operation.
Full marks for efficiency, since the bhakt mill got to keep running overtime.
Bhakts were baying for Pakistanis’ blood on Twitter and Facebook, and they almost thought the “befitting reply” would be a good, old Indira Gandhi-style war now (it doesn’t matter that Mrs Gandhi is evoked by bhakts every time they salivate about Indian tanks and fighter jets raiding Pakistan). But PM Modi disappointed them again, preferring to keep the diplomatic channels open, and not nuke Islamabad.
Many remembered how Nawaz Sharif had called former PM Manmohan Singh a “dehati aurat” at the 2013 UNGA, and when compared to that, PM Modi’s macho restraint was almost like Lord Rama, waiting for the ultimate provocation for the final solution.
Instead of Pakistan, a war was waged on Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) and Hyderabad Central University (HCU). Kanhaiya Kumar, Umar Khalid and Anirban Bhattacharya of JNU were duly arrested for organising a talk on Kashmir on the anniversary of Afzal Guru’s hanging, and Rohith Vemula of HCU hanged himself in his hostel room after getting disillusioned with the system.
Nice deflection technique, Prime Minister!
But what about the bhakts? Sure they lapped it up! Getting to publicly assault JNU students in front of Patiala Court House was the icing on the cake. Dissing the PhD scholars for failing to display patriotism like the Siachen soldiers, especially the late Hanamanthappa, was great national pastime for millions online.
Everything came together and was milked to the last drop of the nationalist blood, until it too went past its sell-by date.
#WATCH PM Narendra Modi's strong criticism against so called "gau rakshaks" (cow protectors) in the nation.https://t.co/qF3vbbjnJv
— ANI (@ANI_news) August 6, 2016
Deendayal Upadhyaya has said, 50 years back, "Don’t reward Muslims, don’t rebuke Muslims, empower them,": PM Modi in Kerala pic.twitter.com/5qbUYgDg9B
— ANI (@ANI_news) September 25, 2016
That’s the pattern that the bhakts are used to now. Whether it’s PM Modi’s admonition of gau rakshaks at his first townhall in Delhi, after milking the cow love from Bihar Assembly election onwards to letting the cow vigilantes run amok on the streets of Gujarat, Uttar Pradesh, Jharkhand, Bihar and other states, or his pouring his heart out for Kashmiri Muslims in the latest Mann Ki Baat after a generous application of Doval Doctrine in the Valley, and even his decision to not withdraw the Indus Waters Treaty, his many political somersaults are actually part of a grand arc of Moditva.
Let’s face it, no one does a better U-turn than Narendra Modi, and by now, though pulled up regularly for their flagrant display of Modi love, the bhakts are used to the tactics.
Worst time to be a Modi bhakt?
May be.
But as Charles Dickens famously wrote: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”