When Modiji turned to Amitji and talked frankly about Bihar

Once there was a leader, a chief minister with fine clothes. He had a 56-inch chest, so he required more cloth, which was expensive. So when he was prime minister he had a finer and monogrammed suit, which he, alas, could not keep. He had to keep taking "selfies" to preserve his memories. A diamond merchant took care of that, placing that fine suit with his bulging chest along and cut diamonds in a special place, since the suit was also impeccably cut.

But he needed a better camera to shoot pics of finer cloth, so he became the super foreign minister. He travelled looking for a PM's clothes. He began to speak English with statespersons, and Hindi and Sanskrit with the UN and its bodies, and sometimes a mixture with expatriate Indians, some of whom were desperate to show him their motels.

"Please PMji, please stay in our motel it has everything a man could want."

"Can your beds accommodate a 56-inch chest?"

Now in Bihar, sternly criticising the rich for ignoring the poor, surrounded by Brahmins, Rajputs and Bhumihars, he promised the new version "Gujarat model".

"But Modiji, this is Bihar."

"Bihar, Tihar, Vasant Vihar, all models are the same. In Gujarat, we call it the Gujarat model. Here call it the Bihar model, Bhojpuri Model, Madhes model. It's all in the mind."

He also went up the social ladder, to keep up with social change. Early on, he was a "chaiwala's son".

Now in Bihar, he has graduated to a "kisan's son."

"But sir," one OBC (Other Brahmin caste) hesitantly asked, "How can you be the son of both? "Arre, you of little faith, in Gujarat I'm a chaiwala, in Bihar I'm a kisan. State and central lists are different."

He turned to "Amitji", politician extraordinary. "Arre Amitji, I don't like the happy faces of the women after polling," (59.5 per cent women voting).

"I will warn the Election Commissioner that he must be extra careful. If I lose how will I give the lakhs of Rupees, the thousand scooties, the ten decimals of land to the landless..." Amitji said, "Sir this will not happen. Anyway, we can make the new "Gujarat model."

"Right, Hardik Patel will help us. Amitji please check on the revolvers of the 'Bihar model.'"

"Sir, what about the gau mata issue?"

"Of course, that is fine."

"Sir, what about Bharat mata?"

"Why worry, if the Muslims have upto four mothers/wives, we will have just two mothers. Now let us do yoga, for tomorrow's campaign."