Please, can somebody find me a place to park my car?

A lot of things happened over the last few days. Dr APJ Abdul Kalam left for the heavenly abode, an Earth-like planet was found by NASA and Salman Khan reaffirmed to the world that he will do anything to make sure he stays on news as long as his movie stays in the box-office. Amidst all the things which were shaping the future and should have been running in my mind, the only thought which kept playing in a loop was, "WHERE THE F**K DO I PARK MY CAR?!"

Over the past few decades, our buildings have become taller, the roads wider, the cars have become cheaper but somehow the parking space has not become any bigger. In an ever-expanding metropolitan city like Kolkata, finding a parking spot is slowly becoming harder than finding the G-spot.

You might be heading to Park Street in Kolkata, to Brigade Road in Bengaluru or to Connaught Place in New Delhi; there remains an equal chance that the amount you pay for an hour's parking is probably more than the amount you'll be spending on your pint of beer.

The trick to parking your car in the commercial pockets of your city lies in the age-old saying "Early bird catches the spot". Schedule your departure at least two hours before the arrival time (five hours if you live in Bengaluru, taking into account the mad traffic) and pray in front of every temple, peepal tree, cow and poster of Sachin Tendulkar on your way that you do not have to park six blocks away from your destination. If this also does not help, try pasting "Press" or "Police" stickers on your vehicle that available at every car accessories shop. (PS: If you ever get caught doing this, you did not get the idea from me.)

So if you have a car, I urge you to start using the public transport; if you are planning to buy a car, please don't - because of all the parking hazards. And thus help me in getting a parking spot with ease the next time.