Five things Chinese can teach Indians about parenting
Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, published in 2011, established the Chinese style of parenting as authoritarian and radical, and launched a worldwide debate on the Western versus Eastern world's style of rearing kids. While India currently possibly lies somewhere in between China and America (the two cultures involved in that debate since Chua is American), on a recent trip to China, I found a lot of interesting things that Indian parents would do well to imbibe from their Chinese counterparts. And no, it does not involve hours of gruelling practice to master a musical instrument or a "no play-dates ever" policy for your kids.
1. Cycle everywhere: In both Beijing and Shanghai, I saw moms cycling all over town, with their little kids seated on booster seats behind them. I also saw a lot of mopeds (remember them?). My friend, who lives in Shanghai, told me she drops her younger daughter to playschool every day on the cycle, and in the evenings, she and her elder daughter sometimes cycle to where the child has a class. They stay fit in the process, and it’s a great bonding exercise as well. She lives in Pudong (on one side of the river Huangpu) and sometimes even puts her cycle on the ferry to Puxi (pronounced Pushi; the other side) and then cycles there running her errands. While India isn’t great on cycling safety (Sunita Narain’s accident being a case in point), there are surely some errands in your neighbourhood you can do cycling. It saves time, the hassle of driving everywhere, is cleaner for the environment, and a great way to spend time with your child.
2. Look at greens differently: If you thought Chinese cuisine was only about bullfrogs and ducks and seafood, you couldn’t be more wrong. On each table at every restaurant sat large dishes that could pass off as terrariums. The Chinese love their greens and pretty much eat them raw, sometimes dunking them in a hot pot (for blanching) and then dipping them in a sauce. I had a fantastic lettuce and peanut sauce dish, string beans in pork, and cauliflower in beef. I also had celery stalks with spring onions in a sweet sauce, bok choy, and a local green they call Gai Lin. So, learning to experiment with how we cook our greens could well result in kids enjoying them. My kids did. And there’s no reason why lauki has to be cooked only one way! The Chinese also eat a lot of fruit, by the way, and this is easily available at every street. In the bullet train from Beijing to Shanghai I saw families eating KFC and Burger King and then atoning by eating a lot of fruit (cherry tomatoes, pears, peaches, you name it).
3. Adopt sneakers: The Chinese have made an art form of pairing sneakers with flowing dresses, with short skirts and with just about everything. There are so many varieties of sneakers -with platforms, flat, laced, slip-on. No wonder they’re happily walking all over the place, taking their kids to museums and parks, and showing no traces of being tired. Find a pair that works for you, and use it. When you’re out with kids, choose comfort and make it your style. Look at Gwen Stefani and Sarah Jessica Parker for inspiration!
4. Make your rainwear fashionable: Because Shanghai gets rain nearly eight months of the year, each family has a veritable collection of umbrellas in the home, in the car, and an equal collection of raincoats, rain jackets and Wellies to boot. But they just look so cool that you wouldn’t mind wearing them even if it was dry as a desert. For wetter parts, such as Mumbai, fashionable rain gear makes so much sense. The kids would love to wear cool neon rain jackets or overalls, and it would save them from sneezing and getting sick through the monsoon.
5. Change your mealtimes: When we were having a cup of tea at 6pm, the rest of Beijing was finishing supper. Lunch is done by 1pm and dinner is pretty much wrapped up by 7pm. They eat early, eat small portions and eat more often. Pretty much what every diet tells you to do. No restaurant serves you a large dinner plate, just small little bowls. By that logic, your child’s small appetite is OK. Just ensure they don’t have large gaps between meals, and keep a supply of healthy snacks at hand (think carrot and cucumber sticks).