India, Pakistan should not be friends. Being neighbours is enough trouble

26 May 2014: Narendra Modi and Nawaz Sharif meet in a handshake, so warm that they would keep holding each other even after shutterbugs had had their time.

26 November 2014: Narendra Modi and Nawaz Sharif meet in Kathmandu. There is so much ice between them, they hardly see each other. Cold. Really cold.

The wagging tongues withdraw and I-told-you-sos fill the air. The surprise warmth of May has frozen in November. India and Pakistan aren’t any closer. The camaraderie is gone and there is no closure. Modi reminds SAARC leaders that 26 November is a gaping wound that wouldn’t heal with empty assurances.

The old question is wide awake, and swallowing the SAARC Summit once again: Can there ever be peace between India and Pakistan? Or will there be another war? The peace-loving ones say that there’s no other way. The warmongers say that war is the way. Between calls of war and peace, Atal Bihari Vajpayee’s oft-quoted quote gets quoted ad hominem: “You can choose your friends. You can’t choose your neighbours.”

Everything is back to square one. Back where it all began. The two nuclear neighbours can’t hold the entire subcontinent to ransom. Their disputes cannot derail the mood of cooperation among the rest. As it happens, nothing else matters when India and Pakistan are on one table. Jesus Christ. Love thy neighbour. The same old rhetoric. The same old question: Can India and Pakistan ever be friends? In the black-and-white world of today, the answer tends to be either a "Yes" or a "No". I would rather say None of the Above.

India and Pakistan needn’t be friends. Why should your neighbour be your friend as well? A neighbour is a neighbour. A nosy neighbour needn’t get cosy. An insane neighbour mustn’t be allowed into your own home. South Korea has a nasty neighbour. Yet, it has managed to prosper. Taiwan and Japan have done so. "We can’t prosper without peace" is a tired theory.

The world has changed. Look around you. I do not even know my neighbours. But we manage fine. We often run into each other in the lift lobby and exchange a meaningless smile and go our ways. We don’t share things unless it’s too late in the night. If we run out of salt, we call the grocer and it’s delivered. In cases of emergency, we have intervened in each other’s lives. But that’s that. Our friends are different. I never felt a need to share a drink with my neighbour. I feel he feels the same. Because the building has other people living in it; the residential block has many more people living. Our social circles are different.

What does one do if one’s neighbour is hell-bent on not settling his domestic disputes and encourages one son to fight another? Well, there’s a lot of noise and your sleep may be affected. Bear with it. If they burn their house down in their fight, there are chances of the flames reaching your doors. Be prepared. Keep fire extinguishers at hand. Change the locks. Fortify your house. Don’t deal with the neighbour. If they come to terms with reality, well and good. If they don’t, well, who cares!