Saudi 'how to beat your wife' video or women barred from temples: Misogyny in religion

The latest blockbuster is not on celluloid but online. Khaled Al-Saqaby, a Saudi Arabian "family therapist", has released a video giving advice on wife beating.

The video was shot in a forest earlier this year with the "therapist" speaking in what appears to be a very reasonable and personable way. It was first circulated among the Arabic-speaking devout, then it was translated and released last month by the Washington DC-based Middle East Media Research Institute.

Condition

In the tutorial, Al-Saqaby says that "the necessary Islamic conditions for beating must be met", and "the goal is merely to make the wife feel that she was wrong in the way she treated her husband".

But what beats them all is the following line: "Unfortunately, some wives want to live a life of equality with their husbands… This is a very grave problem."

In other words, women should just accept that they are second-class citizens, they should recognise men as superior and allow the beating humbly.

Also read - What watching a man slap his wife and daughters says about us women

Apparently, human rights movements have not impacted - or influenced - Al-Saqaby or his followers. In most countries, "wife beating" is called domestic abuse. But according to these Wahabi Saudis, whose talk shows are broadcast in Saudi Arabia and even Pakistan, it is merely "keeping the wife in her place".

For years, religious clerics have been the primary source of information on marital relationships, and at the core of their teaching is men's superiority over women.

This trend, unfortunately, appears to cut across religions. Take for instance, Kerala's Sabarimala temple issue where until now women were banned from entering and worshipping.

The temple, dedicated to Lord Ayappa, is located on a hilltop in the Western Ghats of Kerala's Pathanamthitta district and is considered miraculous. Evidently the ban on women visiting the temple was "legitimate" because according to legend, Lord Ayappa is celibate and he can focus on answering the prayers of his devotees better without women around.

He will remain celibate till the day kanni swamis (first-time devotees) stop coming to Sabarimala. What is also interesting is that the temple promotes equality among Dalits, Brahmins and Muslims. Then why leave out women?

Also read - Busting myths about how Sabarimala came to ban 'impure' women

Citing this as a discriminatory practise that is in violation of the Constitution of India, the Indian Young Lawyers' Association filed a PIL, seeking entry of women in the Sabarimala temple. Furthermore, two Kerala-based bodies, the Hind Navotthana Pratishtan and Narayanashrama Tapovanam, have filed the plea seeking to intervene in the PIL, presided over a bench headed by justice Dipak Misra.

Interestingly, they are in favour of allowing women into the temple, and have gone on record to say, "No temple ritual, ceremony or custom can be made ground for discriminating against women in the matter of worshipping in any temple, including Sabarimala, as it is a clear violation of the constitutional equality."

Discrimination

The Sabarimala temple issue has opened up a kind of Pandora's Box for many religious institutions that foster gender discriminatory practices. Take for instance the Kamakhya temple, devoted to the "bleeding" Goddess Kamakhya Devi, located on the Nilachal Hill, in the west of Guwahati, Assam. While the priests are permitted to attend to the Goddess who "menstruates" for three days, ironically women are not allowed to enter the temple during this period.

Most recently Jandai Nag, 16, an Adivasi girl of Purantari village in south Bastar district of Dantewada, refused to follow the discriminatory practise of silently disappearing into nearby forest before sunrise to stay out of men's sight, and return home after sunset, during her periods.

Violence

Challenging the taboo against women's bodies, fighting for their need to be treated as equals, contesting the normalisation of domestic violence through videos like Al-Saqaby's, is an ongoing process. It is slow and exhausting but absolutely necessary.

Tina Dabi, who came out first in this year's UPSC civil service exams, is the second woman to top the test. Last year, it was Ira Singhal. This indicates that women have the ability to excel in fields that have been considered male-dominated.

Also read - Not allowing women inside Haji Ali insults the spirit of Islam

To suppress talent on the basis of gender and insist that women should only "cook a husband's meals, take care of the children and keep the home clean and ready for a husband's homecoming", as suggested by a Saudi television cleric, is regressive to say the least.

According to one of The Economist magazine articles, women are one of the world's most underutilised natural resources. This is a capitalistic approach to women's productivity, but it does point to what we are losing out on, appealing to the utilitarian if not altruistic side of human nature.

It can perhaps counter the religious dogma that shackles women to the home, prevents them from entry into places of worship and, most importantly, rationalises domestic violence.

(Courtesy of Mail Today.)