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Fathers from hell

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Kaveree Bamzai
Kaveree BamzaiAug 26, 2016 | 09:43

Fathers from hell

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

When you listen to the conversations, reportedly between Peter Mukerjea and his son, Rahul, that's the first thing that strikes you. The second? Society is so quick to judge women, especially those who become mothers, and is so ready to give a free pass to fathers.

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For, while Indrani Mukerjea is not exactly Mother India, Peter is clearly a father from hell, never mind the protestations of his other son, Rabin.

To allow your son, seemingly, to believe that he has been dumped by his fianceé, to be told the love of his life is a gold-digger who is scooting off with a man with better prospects, and to be asked to mend his broken heart by getting a good night's sleep and something to eat, surely this is a most unique parenting style.

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Peter Mukerjea.

Of course, Peter's defence, as in most things, may well be that Indrani made him do it, but it's time as a society we urged men to take responsibility for their actions. Laddish behaviour is no longer cool, either when one is a lad, or when one is one's dotage.

At least the West is allowing itself to examine the nature of emerging families. A new cover story in Time magazine studies nine super families that have produced extraordinary children, and while there is no clear one style of parenting (authoritarian, permissive and authoritative), it is clear that the fathers were very much part of the conversation.

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In Unfinished Business, Anne Marie Slaughter who has long argued for the idea of lead parent to take root (families should be flexible enough to allow fathers to be homemakers on occasion) urges caregiving and paid work to be viewed as two kinds of vital human activities that can be done by either men or women.

But in India, where the state and its ideological Big Brother has decided it needs to define the woman's role in society, as well the number of children she can have, the argument is stuck in the 19th century.

Which is alarming given the rapidity with which modern Indian families are being transformed, and the need for fathers to understand the extent of their expanded duties.

Rahul and Sheena in a way were the poster couple of this new emerging family. He, the son of Peter by his first marriage, and she, the daughter of Indrani's first marriage. He was lucky he was at least acknowledged, while she had to shape shift her way through much of her short life, sometimes the daughter, sometimes the sibling. It is not surprising that they may found much in common. It is not surprising that they never really had much of a chance.

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And while it may be tempting to call them broken children, perhaps it would be more apt to think of Peter and Indrani as broken parents, he seemingly urging his son to move on by going to the gym, and she shouting him down for showing concern about her own daughter's whereabouts.

If Rahul had showed more gumption earlier, we'd perhaps have known what exactly happened to Sheena Bora. And we think Anurag Kashyap, who directed Ugly, a story in which everyone cares more about him/herself than the child who has been kidnapped, makes "edgy, dark films". He just makes what he sees around him, the ugliness of relationships.

Stories of the infinite capacity of families to hurt each other, with what they do and what they don't do. Stories of dragon moms and deadbeat dads.

Last updated: August 29, 2016 | 13:47
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