Who killed porn star August Ames?
The death of adult film actress August Ames has brought forward a problem that has been a persistent bug in the internet experience since the beginning of time, at least since the beginning of the internet: cyber bullying.
On December 5, 2017, 23-year-old Canadian “porn star”, whose real name was Mercedes Grabowski, was found hanging in her California home. The suicide, as it turns out, took place a day after Ames was cyber-bullied. The actress, after turning down an offer to work with a male, bisexual adult film actor, was branded a homophobe on Twitter by a number of people.
whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews , you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say????????♀️ Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #ladirect I do my homework for my body????✏️????
— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 3, 2017
I don’t have anything to apologize for! Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe? Fuck you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I fucking love the gay community! What the fuck ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate. https://t.co/7dSbq27K2F
— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 4, 2017
“Choose who YOU want to work with” “Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable”“Share your thoughts”Hmm. Well, I did all three, and twitter took a dump on me????????♀️
— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 4, 2017
Her final tweet from December 5, the day she committed suicide, perhaps, perfectly summed up how tired the actress was with the insurmountable backlash she had received from the online community, ironically under the guise of progressiveness.
fuck y’all
— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 5, 2017
Branding Ames a homophobe was easy. All it needed was one person to say it. The rest probably jumped in as a herd. To the people cyber-bullying Ames, it would seem, they were doing the right thing: being the voice of reason, the champions of the LGBTQI community, and the guardians of civil liberties. But they were not.
At the end of the day, all the “woke” people who called Ames a homophobe would do well to look at their actions that contradict their opinions of themselves: they were telling woman what to do with her body. Not just that, they were shaming her for what she chose to do with her body. Is it all that different from people who condemn working in the adult film industry, or any different from judging people on their sexual preferences? Not one bit.
Ames’ concerns, as it appears from her tweets, were strictly health-related. It is no secret that in the porn industry, the prevalence of STIs/STDs (sexually transmitted infections and diseases) has been a something of a menace. But of late, actors as well as makers of these films have taken a more steady approach towards sexual health.
In fact, speaking to Hornet, gay porn performer Austin Wilde said: “As a model and business owner on the gay side of the industry who thoroughly tests his models and self, uses the PASS network, and considers sexual health and safety to be one of my top priorities, I found her statements to be just what I said — homophobic and uneducated.”
But at the same time, one has to remember that Ames, who has performed in more than 270 films, openly claimed that she has no problem working with women porn actors and that she was a supporter of the LGBTQI community. The fact that she chose her personal health, a factor that is really important in the adult film industry, over a role, should be her business and her business alone.
Branding her a homophobe and bullying her over it is unjustifiable in any way one chooses to look at it.
The power of online hate is lost on many. Despite the fact that the world has witnessed countless examples of what cyber-bullying can cause, we choose to feign ignorance. Ames, as it would transpire, suffered from bipolar depression and multiple personality disorder. The actress had also suffered from substance abuse and addiction, which she claimed she had been able to kick. For a person like this, any number of things can trigger a violent response.
In Ames’ case, there was a boat load of triggers. From tweets to hate mail, from judgment to slut-shaming, Ames was at the receiving end of it all just the day before she decided to end it all. While it is obviously not expected of everyone to be privy to her mental health, her death is nonetheless a fault of all those who chose to throw her under the bus.
Former White House intern and anti-harassment and anti-bullying activist Monica Lewinsky recently noted that “some of our social media arenas have become online coliseums. When we wrap fear around difference, that’s what creates the chasm between [people]”. Lewinsky added that the “culture of humiliation” surrounding social media will eventually have consequences. She could not have been more accurate in her premonition.
The idea of public-humiliating people online, saying things one would otherwise not say, has started taking a toll on one and all. One should never live under the delusion that one's words are inconsequential. Because in Ames’ case, they certainly were not.
Maybe the adult film actress, despite being admittedly bi-curious, harboured certain notions that could be called ignorant at best. Instead of politely trying to make her understand that she may be mistaken in her worldview, thousands chose to lambast her, call her names and cast her in the mould of a homophobe.
In their own perceived progressive superiority, people killed Ames with what is widely considered in the liberal world a weapon of the conservative and the fascist: online hate.