Pahlaj Nihalani has saved India from girls 'lying on bed' and 'pouring liquor' in xXx
If there was ever a man who could cut like a pro, it was Pahlaj Nihalani, the legendary chairman of the fabled Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC). Yes, this is a man whose scissors wield more might than Thor’s hammer. Angering this man with your lewd, inappropriate, un-sanskaari content is more dangerous than poking a sleeping dragon.
But sometimes, you do have to wonder – what the hell is Pahlaj smoking?
The man famous for beeping out random words and cutting anything even remotely objectionable is back again – and this time you can’t even make sense of a lot of cuts. In any scenario.
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| You don't mess with Pahlaj! [Photo: DailyO] |
The victim, this time, is Deepika Padukone and Vin Diesel starrer xXx The Return of Xander Cage. The crimes the movie has committed? Well.
For one, it has the use of unacceptable words that no one ever uses, like “asshole”, “son of a bitch”, “balls”, “baller” and "fu**ing". Wait, why is “baller” in this list? “Baller” is just an urban slang for someone cool or wealthy or successful. It is, in no way, an expletive.
Next, the mighty Pahlaj attacks “visuals of girls lying on bed” and “visuals of girls pouring liquor”. This is of course understandable. In Indian culture, girls are prohibited to partake in either of the aforementioned activities. In fact, while the majority of the country is going to the dogs (by letting girls lie down on beds), true Indian culturists still make sure that girls even sleep while standing.
As for pouring liquor, women in Indian culture are only allowed to drink directly from the bottle. This pouring nonsense was added to practice only after the arrival of the British. Good riddance.
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| How is "baller" an expletive? [Photo: Twitter] |
Even after having to comply with Pahlaj's asinine obsession with cutting stuff, xXx Return of Xander Cage still ended up with a 'U/A' certificate. Seriously, though. We really want to know what the super-chill Pahlaj is smoking.