The Pulp Pit

Not even Priyanka Chopra can save Baywatch from sinking

The Indian censors have apparently massacred the original conten.

 |  The Pulp Pit  |  3-minute read |   03-06-2017
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Baywatch, we were given the impression, would be Hollywood’s reply to Grand Masti, a rollicking sexcom adventure wholly unapologetic of the corny gags it hawked. It isn’t. It seems there was a bigger villain lurking in the shadows of the film than Priyanka Chopra, who wouldn’t let that happen. He answers by the name of Pahlaj Nihalani. The Indian censors have apparently massacred the original content. The version released in India is a fragmented, badly chopped piece of nothing that is neither sexy nor comic.

He answers by the name of Pahlaj Nihalani. The Indian censors have apparently massacred the original content. The version released in India is a fragmented, badly chopped piece of nothing that is neither sexy nor comic. While on Priyanka Chopra’s over-hyped Hollywood debut, if this is what she was busy doing over the past year or two in Hollywood, she better not leave India again. 

Baywatch is an embarrassment for Priyanka fans because her act as villain of the piece will go down as one of her most cheesy performances ever. The film is an embarrassment for all those who have rooted for Dwayne Johnson too, since the days he packed a punch as The Rock in the wrestling ring. Mostly, the film is a royal squirm for fans of the Baywatch TV show of the ’90s.

The show itself was no highbrow stuff. It was a mere assortment of corny antics set to motion by men and women who clearly believed less is more while flaunting body and IQ. What made it thoroughly enjoyable  despite the abundant cheap tricks was the screwball irreverence, even as the oomph quota firmly stayed as see-level.

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The film misses the cocky vibes of the TV series. While on oomph, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera together shareonly about a third of the sex appeal that Pamela Anderson exuded on small screen. In fact, Anderson and David Hasselhoff from the series make cameos in the film. That, though, is not enough to revive the mojo. 

A bikini-sized script introduces Mitch Buchanan (Dwayne Johnson) and his team of lifeguards who protect the beach of Emerald Bay against mishaps. A tired twist comes with Priyanka as the evil nightclub owner Victoria Leeds. Mitch and company suspect Leeds could be trafficking of drugs at her hotspot, also that she is systematically trying to

Mitch and company suspect Leeds could be trafficking of drugs at her hotspot, also that she is systematically trying to buy out the entire beach. The rest of the screenplay tries to add very few spins as the lifeguards set out to expose Leeds. To be fair, maybe we should at least wait for an uncut video to be available in India before assessing the actual film. The big screen version released in India is pathetic.

Thanks to the censors, Baywatch has ended up as nay-watch.

[Courtesy: MailToday]

Also read: How the Right-biased media is trying to paint Kerala as a communal warzone

Writer

Vinayak Chakravorty Vinayak Chakravorty @vinayak25

Film critic, Mail Today

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