Ranbir Kapoor's Return from the Wild

Whose Tai Tai exactly is Phis, is the question everyone is asking after watching Ranbir Kapoor crawl on the floor to the beats of "Baby Doll" and give film critic Rajeev Masand a lap dance on the Bombay Velvet press junket to Goa over the long weekend. After this rare sighting in the wild, and found doing item numbers he’s obviously worked pretty hard at, sleuths in the film circuit have now narrowed the near two-year hibernation in which the actor has not had the time to give interviews, or take on more films, to having to dance, never mind sing, for his supper. Katrina-cool has now reached epic proportions with Mattel reportedly sending their tribute Barbie doll (Oh, now we get it) models into dominatrix mode. Well, either he’s had a lot of practice or he thinks his film is really, really bad. How bad, exactly, we leave to be measured by the cast and crew that felt obliged to kidnap the entire posse of film critics armed with their writerly chisels to the nearest resort and ply them with alcohol and provide entertainment that included EVERYTHING BUT A SCREENING OF THE FILM! Considering the first screening was held two days prior, one can only assume a hurried huddle had producers Fox pull budget strings that THEY HELD IN RESERVE FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE FILM, as the grapevine has it. But even that’s not the major face palm moment of the weekend. It’s that none of the songs going viral at the multi-faceted promotional event captured and tweeted out by producers Fox belong to the film at all! Way to show some faith in a film guys! Could have rented out billboards that said “Please, please, please watch my film because we can’t think why else you would.”