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Song for Ted Cruz, who hates New York’ values

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Noam A Osband
Noam A OsbandJan 28, 2016 | 16:33

Song for Ted Cruz, who hates New York’ values

  • New York values [or: Fu*k you Ted Cruz]
  •  
  • Ted Cruz hates New York’ values
  • which makes things weird for me
  • cause it means i found an issue
  • where trump and i agree
  •  
  • New York values
  • Fu*k you Ted Cruz
  • Why do you think living in New York is simply living in the wrong
  • Im gonna change your conservative mind up with this silly little song
  •  
  • You're right we are quite liberal but
  • New York's a real big place
  • One where conservatives can come
  • and still feel real great
  •  
  • Have you ever been upstate
  • where Bills fans fall down drunk
  • Where the white folks proudly cling on
  • To their god and guns
  •  
  • More folks from New York have died
  • For the red white and blue
  • More than any other state
  • Texas includ-ded
  •  
  • Yes, New York brave fighters
  • Make a good impression
  • Cause they never fought
  • For slavery or secession
  •  
  • New York's home of Wallstreet
  • Who gave your campaign loans
  • Don’t bite the hand that feeds you
  • Or leave it undisclosed
  •  
  • We've got Ellis Island
  • Statue of Liberty
  • Where your preferred type of immigrant
  • entered the country
  •  
  • You might New York City is
  • a godless, faithless den
  • One that's full of sodomites,
  • one that's full of sin
  •  
  • But just cause you're right don't mean
  • We aint also got
  • Lots of lovers of Jesus
  • and the biblical lot
  •  
  • Ever take the subway
  • at a real late hour
  • When someone gets up loudly preaching,
  • hootering and hollers
  •  
  • Reading from the Bible
  • and the holy verses
  • And maybe muttering
  • The most foul of curses
  •  
  • They could be preaching
  • in any of the world tongues
  • Or maybe it's a made up language
  • spoken just by one
  •  
  • They just keep on preaching
  •  
  • after you think they're done!
  •  
  • They follow you to the next train
  • You want to just get home
  •  
  • And even once you manage
  • to get off the train
  • Jehova's Witnesses are there
  • hand you readings
  •  
  • Dirty subway paper
  • with the word of God
  • You finally get to reading
  • waiting for the R
  •  
  • I don’t agree with the missionaries
  • But I got respect
  •  
  • Cause it’s cold at night
  • And most people reject
  • Their generous offer of
  • Eternal salvation
  •  
  • And that’s an amazing offer
  • For a dirty subway station
  •  
  • Yes the Lord dwells
  •  
  • In New York
  • So why you gotta mess with us
  • Ted Cruz
  •  
  • CHORUS
  •  
  • if you dont think there are
  • famous republicans from this state
  • Then you're knowledge of history
  • really aint that great
  •  
  • The home of Gulliani,
  • Home of Al D'Amato
  • And William F Buckley
  • with his weird patrciain brogue
  •  
  • And one of those big faces
  • On Mt Rushmore's side
  • Originally
  • In New York did reside
  •  
  • Yes Teddy Roosevelt,
  • blue blood from this place
  • He's show off hunted animals
  • at lavish new york feasts
  •  
  • William H Seward
  • His folly bought Alaska
  • Look at the conservative
  • Symbols that he bought ya’
  •  
  • He brought oil, bald eagles
  • and the Iditarod
  • And Sara Palin who in fairness
  • you're not fond of now
  •  
  • Governor Nelson Rockefeller
  • came from this place
  • creating crazy drug laws
  • Cruz would keep in place
  •  
  • Before he met his demise
  • with a smile on his face
  • Enjoying the warmth of
  • His mistresses’ embrace
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Last updated: January 28, 2016 | 16:33
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