Usha Uthup on her love affair with Kolkata and Durga Puja

I was born in Bombay and spent my successive years there. It was later in life that I shifted to Kolkata. In the beginning, I wanted to fit in desperately. There is something so magical about this city's air, such a sense of togetherness and this marvellous atmosphere of joy especially during festivities, that drove my desperation. Now, I can proudly claim that I belong to Kolkata and you can't separate it from my identity. This city is now in my bloodstream. I can't talk of Kolkata in the past or the future, it is always now. It is a part of me now, it is my existence now, it is my living now, my thinking now, it is my everything that is happening now. The beautiful thing about Kolkata is that it just opens its arms wide for everybody, especially for artists who just get involved in a love affair with it. And if you get caught in this affair, then you just remain fidel forever.

There is something so amazing about the spirit of Kolkata during Durga Pujo. You can actually almost touch it, the feeling is so mesmerising and the buzz around you makes you believe that there is love in the air. The feeling is so tangible that you just say, "Hey, it is time for Pujo!" This grand season is collectively welcomed by every Kolkatan. It is the time when everybody is out on the streets to shop. Though I am not a fan of shopping myself, but the Pujo festivities manage to turn me into a shopper as well. I prepare a list where I make it a point to buy saris for everybody in the studio and all the people who work with me. And the excitement of making it is finding that the list grows bigger every year! Going out for sari shopping, I find people engrossed in their purchases. There is no difference between the rich, poor, fat, thin, Hindu, Muslim or Christians. It is overwhelming to see people from all walks of like partaking of the celebrations. It is this unique feature of the city that you find so cosmopolitan. Pujo doesn't only belong to the Hindus as many people would believe, it is accepting of everybody.

Growing up in Bombay, the biggest statue or idol that I came across was of Ganesh's, which my parents brought home for Ganesh Chaturthi. It was mere 12 inches tall. Those were the idols that I grew up loving and adoring. But when I moved to Kolkata, I witnessed the grandeur attached to the statue of Durga. The sheer size and magnificence of these huge statues left me speechless. It isn't just the grandness of the affair, but also the traditions attached to it that make it so unique. Wearing five new dresses for the days of Pujo and having matching clothes, no matter how economically different you are, all these were things I never saw back home in Bombay. All this was a new experience for me, the right word would be Aubaak, astounded.

For me, Durga Pujo is a time to honour the spirit of togetherness. There is no I or Me at this time. Everything is Amader, our or Amra, us. It is my personal belief that one must function collectively and not separate or selfishly. Kolkata allows me to extend that thought and is the extension of everything I believe in. However, I cannot identify with the fact that pujo is in fact a colossal waste of money. I find it more and more appalling with every passing year. The whole event is getting too commercial. On one hand, there is this obsession with majestic pandals and pumping money into getting bigger effigies. On the other, you can see impoverished kids squatting on the roadside, sleeping under plastic sheets at night. It is terrible to see such disparity.

Of course, there will be a hundred people who would disagree and defending the festivities by saying "this is the time when the poor get their entertainment". But I am not prepared to buy the argument. There is a line in a song that has always inspired me, it goes like this, "This can't be wrong when it feels so right, because you, you light up my life". I would like to sing the same for the city but with a difference, "This can't be right when it feels so wrong". Since I can't change anything around me, I change myself. I like to partake of pujo by giving rather than giving money to for a bigger idol or more complicated and artful pandal. Give money to the underprivileged for clothes to wear or to eat or books for school.

The more people I speak to, the more people agree with me, and its working in a small way but it is.