Bilawal Bhutto: Bane for Windows Phone

Tech pundits for the last few years have claimed that Microsoft's beautiful looking Windows Phone mobile operating system suffers from a chicken and egg problem. It does not have the market share to attract app developers and in turn, it does have the apps to attract the user base. I for one think they have a bigger issue at hand. It is Bilawal Bhutto, the son of slain Pakistan PM Benazir Bhutto and former president Asif Ali Zardari.

If the complaints regarding the jarring interface, the lack of apps and poor support for Google's Cloud services are not enough, they now have a unique new problem in young Bhutto, which I am not too sure they can tackle unless of course someone buys him a spanking new iPhone 6.

At 26, he is the chairman of the Pakistan People's Party. Yes, he's just 26, but that's how they roll in Pakistan. They like them young. If Hasan Raza can play cricket at 15, then sure as hell Pakistan can have a 26-year-old as the chairman of one its largest political parties.

But how exactly is he a bane for Microsoft's billion-dollar Windows Phone platform? Well, I have my own cockeyed theory.

1) This is obvious. He is a Windows Phone user. I was crawling through his Twitter feed and realised a number of wp.me posts, indicating heavy usage of a Windows Phone. For Microsoft, chances are he is the only guy out there with more than 100,000 followers tweeting from a Windows Phone. To be honest, 100,000 is shortchanging the man. According to Twitter, he has 468,000 followers. Such a following for a Windows Phone user is great. I only wish he made more sense.

2) Son, if you post photos like this phone using a Windows Phone, you are telling people these devices have horrendous cameras. Look at this picture! It is out of focus and blurred. The only thing Microsoft's phones are good at are taking photos and then you come along with your 468,000 followers and uploads blurred photos of your drunken escapades, that too from a Lumia?

3) It is a universal truth that people like to frown upon people who like to smoke up, especially if they are going to rule them one day. Bilawal, admit it man, you were on something when you said: "I'll take back Kashmir, every inch of it". My friend, you look stoned out of your wits every time you speak. (Don't believe me, watch this video).

4) If you did not notice, there was no mention of YouTube in the previous point. Poor Bilawal has to upload his videos on Daily Motion because Windows Phone does not have an official YouTube app and the third party apps are awful. Yes, that's right, young Bhutto inadvertently exposed one of the biggest weaknesses of Microsoft's OS to his 468,000 followers. Shame on you sir!

5)   Guess who comes across in a better light all thanks to you? Yes, our very own half-prince Rahul Gandhi. The man who once said, "Poverty is a state of mind." But you know something? At least Gandhi uses an iPhone, not a Windows Phone! Learn something, but not too much.

* The writer has nothing against the good people of Pakistan or Microsoft's Windows Phone OS. It's actually a good operating system, just being used by a doofus.