#TheDailyToast: When Pepsi takes a big swig of Amma land

The only thing absolutely not floating right now in Chennai is hope. If folk singer Kovan were allowed to, he would compose a song about this that Mother’s Everywhere would surely not like. One has an inkling that he is currently trying to rhyme the word for "drain" with the word for "brain" behind those bars. The kind police are said to be lending a hand. In the meanwhile, the people protesting Pepsi’s usurping 15 lakh gallons of water from the Thamirabarani river, find themselves suddenly inundated with waters they may quite possibly drown in, and which can tear up their roads, but which they surely can’t drink. No, no, for potable water, the TN govt will be investing Rs 3,249 water supply plan.

Wonder if all that’s going to go down the same drain the water went down. This is the paradox of India and one hopes, is the vengeance of the gods for making little children wear caste markers. Or maybe it’s for the high court declaring TN’s unique Periyar ordained "Self Respect" marriages – those that survive without pundit and priest and his accompanying paraphernalia – illegal. The situation is so bad that the good people of Sivaganga don’t burst crackers to protect birds in the nearby Vettangudi Bird sanctuary for luck and relieve them of their bad debts. Also known as a fair judgement in a disproportionate assets case or a landslide for an opposition in the next state elections, whichever the gods are less afraid of inflicting upon the people of this state.

This is unlike neighbouring Karnataka, where the only thing drowning is common sense, even from one such as Karnad who believes as long as Tipu Sultan didn’t rape and plunder and massacre within its borders, that’s alright then. Kerala is clearly persona non grata and a godless country to boot, which, if it’s a tribute being paid by the RSS and liberal alike, then clearly the beef-eating state is clearly doing something very right. Given that it is the first state to unveil its transgender policy, everyone is more than willing to look the other way on the Rs 1 cr for bar bribery, because as everybody knows, every Mallu needs his tipple and what the hell else did you expect if you clamped down on bars in god’s own country, eh? Just be thankful the state hasn’t bribed its way through the alcohol-less Gelf and had their hands chopped off in the process.

Give them back their toddy we say! The last thing this country needs is a pack of enraged Mallus with tanni on the brain.