Crane Bedi tows away free lunches in letter, and spirit
Having lost the election — and a lot of her composure, as critics and cynics put it — Kiran Bedi's mind seems to be parked in a zone called "philosophical". Attempts to figure out whether it is a no-parking zone came to naught, which means it is still ambiguous whether the said mind can be towed away if the zone labelled philosophical is deemed a no-go place for politicians under 80 years of age.
Analysis of her pre-election interviews, election time tweets and post-election blog, meanwhile, reveals two distinct streams of thinking that are begging to be labelled as a branch of philosophy. The first distinct line of thoughts could be categorised under "The Peter and Paul robbery theory of tedium". The latter can be dubbed "The I-me-myself concept of global warming through hot air". Of course, it's the latter that is the former — in essence, the I-me premise coming before the principle of Peter robbed to pay Paul as Mary remained a state witness. (In fact, Bedi's I-me principle comes before all other principles, but that's diving into another branch of sociology).
The post in the blog, suitably christened Crane Bedi, is an open letter to fellow Indians. Arguably a work in progress, it adds as many as 50 words over a previous blog posted the same night that was titled — tentatively, one believes — “Relieved that my parents not alive to hear the foul words...”. In both, she writes, “They do not get it still, that there are no free lunches in life. If you rob Peter to pay Paul, it won't be long before all get robbed”.
Thought bubbles were, however, seen to be emerging out of the heads of a section of the Delhi BJP leaders and some who had hoped to become CM hopefuls. How in the name of Delhi Secretariat can Bedi claim to be against free lunches after becoming the CM candidate within a week of joining the party, said the first thought bubble. A second bubble, which is said to have gone up in the horizon within seconds, reportedly contains amazement that Bedi got the candidature even though she knows zilch about Deen Dayal Upadhayaya beyond the road and hospital in Delhi named after the late Jana Sangh leader, and might do a bit of golmaal when talking about Guru Golwalkar and Gol Market, in New Delhi. Free lunches or free launches, these state unit leaders reportedly asked.
We spoke to fans of some of India's tallest political leaders to get their view on Bedi's theory of free lunch and the rationale behind why it upsets the digestion system. Take with a pinch of salt:
Kiran Bedi: There are no free lunches in life.
Narendra Modi fan: Lunch to Lunch to Stomach to Hand to Skill to Work to Make in India. That's the LMSHSWMI theory.
Sonia Gandhi fan: There are no free launches in life (Disclaimer: Unless you have a surname that goes Gandhi).
Mamata Banerjee fan: No free lunch for communalists, communists and Maoists. All other maa-maati-maanush worshippers can approach me.
J Jayalalithaa fan: What is a lunch if it's not free?
Akhilesh Yadav fan: We do not entertain free lunches, only free laptops.
Prakash Karat fan: Marx had made a prognosis so many decades ago. He had said, and we stand by that: Each according to his ability, each according to his plate.
Mayawati fan: They want to repress and suppress the Bahujan Samaj with free lunches. (When told that the issue is surfeit of free lunches,) They want to repress and suppress the Bahujan Samaj by withdrawing free lunches.
Uddhav Thackeray fan: The people will show the tsunami of free lunch against a wave, and some tall leaders will have to eat their words instead of food then.
Raj Thackeray fan: There are no free lunches, brunches or even hunches for munches for non-Marathi manoos.
Chandrababu Naidu fan: Free lunches in the new capital of Andhra Pradesh will be 100 times better than free lunches in Hyderabad.
Sharad Pawar fan: No comments.