Weirdest reasons Indians reject an arranged marriage proposal

Served samosa and sharbat instead of tea and poha? Instant rejection.

 |  7-minute read |   22-04-2016
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Arranged marriages are very common in India. And, after matrimonial websites came into existence, the practice of finding brides/grooms has caught pace. Just like any recruitment process, a boy or a girl has to go through rigorous rounds of questioning for finding their potential partners.

What do you do? What is your salary? Do you own a flat/house? Do you believe in joint family or nuclear family system? - these are a few questions that come their way during family-arranged meetings. And yes, not all meetings are successful. After several "nos", comes a "yes".

So, "What are the weirdest reasons to reject a prospective bride/groom in an arranged marriage?"

This question originally posted on Quora explains the weirdest ways an Indian boy/girl was rejected during arranged marriage meetings.

Aditi N Patel

My parents got the reference of a boy from one mediator. My father called the boy's father and shared my profile. Kundali matching and other things were done and we invited them to our home.

The boy's family looked really nice and everything went well.

Two days later, when my father didn't receive any response from them, he called the mediator to know their answer. The mediator told my father they had said "NO".

Reason: We served them samosa and sharbat instead of tea and poha.

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Anonymous

This story is true.

I met this guy who was a well-placed engineering graduate, working with a good company in Pune. This was my first experience of the so-called "ARRANGED MEETING" of course with families. My family and I travelled all the way to the city they lived in on a very short notice because the prospect's parents had to go out of town later (which I think was a lie). My family was too excited and positive about this match. They made every effort to make it successful. I, on the other hand, was not very happy because I didn't want to get married this early (I was only 24). Also, I wasn't given much time to prepare myself mentally. Everything happened so fast.

The meeting was arranged in a temple at 7.00pm. I wore a light green anarkali suit (which I bought for this meeting). It was already dark. We reached. They were already there. We saw each other. The guy was fair, handsome and had a good personality (had a little belly fat though :P). His mother and sister were also too beautiful and fair. I fell for him instantly. We were given some lone time to talk and get to know each other. We talked for almost 20 minutes. The conversation went well. Meanwhile, my people served them dry fruits and juices. I had a feeling that things will turn out to be positive.

The meeting got over on a happy note and they said they would call. He turned around, smiled at me and said good night. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't wait for the next meeting.

They called in the morning and said that they wanted to see the girl again as it was too dark in the night and her sleeves were covered. I was hurt. But still, I got up to get ready. This time, I was made to wear a sari. They came to our place and I was made to sit with them in a room where no member of my family was present. They talked to me. Everyone asked questions. He didn't say anything but only smiled throughout. We entertained them in the best possible way, with sweets and delicacies.

They again left saying that they would call. This time my family understood that their answer was NO. They never called back. It's been two years since then and we still don't know what the actual reason was. As per our speculations and the conversations, we could only conclude that they rejected me because I was dusky and didn't suit their fair-skinned son.

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Hemant Desai

I will share a funny experience. This was nearly a decade back, and via an "online marriage site". After the initial confirmation of contact and the online review of profiles, I received a call from someone from the prospective bride's family. This person was someone other than the parents. The chat lasted barely two to three minutes and was largely a one-way interrogation. After the individual was satisfied, I was informed that I would receive another call within the week.

The way I was informed (not the piece of information itself) made me feel something was different. Yet, I was not sufficiently prepared. Around the same time, a few days later, I received the call from the prospective bride's mother. She had a very simple question - whether I would prefer to answer the questions on the phone, or whether she should just email me the questions, to which I would reply with written answers. At that moment, I just laughed out loud (my mind made some connections, specially since I was also involved in a lot of interviews and recruitment in those days), but controlled it quickly. They asked me if something was wrong. I said "absolutely not" and that I would wait for the mail. The mail never came. One of the great unsolved mysteries of my life is whether this was a "khandaani HR" family.

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Surbhi Bharadwaj

My mom got a call from the father of groom who was very much excited to see my profile. So, they discussed the basic data and all checks were met. Then astrological data was shared and he decided to check it and let us know. Five minutes after the call, he again dialled our number and in whole excitement informed us that horoscope match is perfect and he wish to take things forward! So, my father's number was shared with him, so that they can have a discussion on next proceedings. My dad asked him to let both the kids talk and if they are fine, we can have a meeting. He wholeheartedly agreed for it and passed his son's contact number. I was informed as well that I will be receiving a call from a guy.

Then we waited for a week, no call. Two weeks, no call. Then my dad called the groom's father. And the response: We were not aware you are from Jharkhand (we have mentioned that are roots are in UP). My son-in-law was working there and he died in a accident there. My son too has visited the place and didn't like it much .

I was really unsure whether I should laugh or be happy after knowing this.

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Parth Walikhindi

Incident 1:

My aunt was getting married in the '90s. She chose a guy, they met, talked and it was fixed. After the engagement there was a puja ceremony where he had to sit without a shirt, wearing a dhoti. That time my aunt saw a small black birthmark on his back. Immediately, after the ceremony she broke the engagement and married another guy.

Incident 2:

My brother-in-law was rejected by three girls before meeting my sister. One of the three was in the same profession as him. She rejected him because she was at the time earning ₹20,000 more than him.

Incident 3:

One of my friends rejected 90 girls for various reasons. Yes you read it right. "90 girls". This is a guy who smokes, drinks and has had pre-marital sexual affairs (not that I'm judging) with girlfriends as well as sex workers. Just because he was fair-skinned, good looking and a Brahmin and wanted a "CLEAN INNOCENT GIRL".

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Writer

Shadab Nazmi Shadab Nazmi @shadabnazmi

Senior sub-editor (Digital) at India Today, data miner.

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