If you don't want to miss out on the 'greatest literary show on Earth', JLFInsider's tweets are all you need to follow
The Jaipur Literature Festival, according to its website has been described as the “greatest literary show on earth”. While the veracity of such a claim, remains to be ascertained, it is beyond doubt that at least to the literati and the intellectuals of New Delhi, it is a coveted occasion.
Hence, as one journalist pointed out, for the duration of the event, there will be ample parking space in Khan Market. JLF, over the years, has turned into a massive party where “wine and cheese liberals” are said to rub shoulders.
And despite the overwhelming English media coverage it receives, there is just one person (rather one Twitter account run by a few people) that has the real scoop.
JLFInsider, in its delightful anonymity, keeps everyone updated on the eccentricities of the intellectuals and many authors who arrive at the event. It is safe to say that if one is missing out on the literature festival, this account is all you need to look at.
Insider started with some basic apprehension, after all Jaipur in Rajasthan is the home turf of the Rajput Karni Sena, a group known for threatening actors, breaking sets and arson.
So who else is waiting here for the Karni Sena to show up?
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Actually hold #KarniSena. Republic tv is here https://t.co/m33YYOWef9
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
No @ZEEJLF , playing some sanskrit hymns won't stop karni sena
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Jaipur Police have specially set up this standee to reassure you there’s nothing to worry about. At all. pic.twitter.com/MPgWoL65vt
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Can’t understand why @TeamworkArts is worried about Karni Sena when they’ve got this guy. pic.twitter.com/L3WnwpfN04
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
But once it became apparent that was not to be, Insider moved on to much more important topics: annoying fans.
Welcome to #JLF2018, where we’re waiting to discover which fans are more annoying: #Tharoorians or #Grupis
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Insider has no chill when it comes to alt-facts.
‘A third of a million footfalls’ according to Dalrymple. Yeah, and approximately 50% of that is volunteers.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Why are we pretending The Beatles were in India to do anything other than smoke cheap ganja?
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
But it’s not all serious business. There are fun drinking games, as well.
JLF Drinking Game: Drink every time the Nobel is mentioned. Or the Booker.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Update: Drink everytime someone name-drops Harvard or Oxford.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
But the best of Insider comes in the form of random snippets of conversations. For example:
Overheard:"Pichle saal na, Shashi Kapoor aaya tha.”“Haan bechara mar gaya na.”“Oh sorry, uska naam Shashi Tharoor tha. Ab yaad aaya.”
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Aunties at Charbagh most impressed by Pico’s exhortations to unplug.“He speaks soooooo WELL,” they coo, as they raise their phones to send a photo to their WhatsApp groups
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Girl behind me to her parents @ the Kathy Reichs panel: “this lady wrote the Bones books” Parents: “?” *stifle yawn* Girl: “the ones about - you’ve seen the TV show Bones?”Parents: “ohh!!!! So exciting. This lady writes for TV!”
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Overhead “Meri behen na, JLF ki volunteer hokar bhi water bottles ki snap streak bhej rahi hai. Bata!”
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
One girl explaining Mira Nair’s Reluctant Fundamentalist to another - “Woh joh ‘24’ mein Jack Bauer hai na...?”
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Man in crowd: "We are focusing on the wrong thing. We are focusing on feminism and women's reservation"In a session titled "Women and Power"
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
The highlight of JLFInsider for Day One, of course, is the arrival of Rupi Kaur, the 25-year-old Canadian poet of Punjabi descent who took the internet by storm a few years ago with her illustrations and free-verse poetry. Rupi Kaur, in a crude analogy, is the Justin Bieber of literature - millions of teenage fans and a conspicuous lack of adulation from industry veterans.
I can’t understand people clicking their fingers for Rupi Kaur when she’s basically up there reading listicles.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
I've never seen old people so confused #RupiKaur
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Have realised there’s an unofficial dress code for #Grupis - long open hair, skinny jeans or leggings in boots. It’s like they all got a memo.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
“I only share a poem when it makes my stomach churn.” It makes ours churn too Rupi, please stop.
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
And with that, the session with #RupiKaur ends, leaving us with such literary gems as “We love love, but do we love love?”
— JLF Insider (@JLFInsider) January 25, 2018
Is it really JLF at all, if an insider is not running an anonymous live commentary on upper middle class hobnobbing?
Also read: Has Modi government proven its incompetence by being unable to rein in Rajput Karni Sena?