The Italian Queen versus the Bharatiya Foreign Minister

One is the Eternally Grieving Widow, in politics only because it is a family business she has to keep afloat for her son.

The other is the Firebrand Socialist Lawyer Turned Right Wing Poster Girl, her maang overflowing with sindoor, entering politics through law, defending the permanent revolutionary George Fernandes in the Baroda Dynamite case.

Sonia is the middle class Italian plunged into India's First Family, learning its patrician ways from Indira Gandhi, a testament to dynastic rule, brandishing the sacred thread on her wrist to show her fastidious fealty to being an Indian bahu.

Sushma is the middle class Indian who worked her way up the food chain, became close to the BJP's margdarshak LK Advani, a testament to India's meritocracy, dancing on Teej and fasting on Karva Chauth to show her dedication to being an Indian naari.

The twain shall never meet.

Sushma threatened to shave her head if Sonia Gandhi ever became prime minister, a fate she narrowly averted when (so it is believed) then President APJ Abdul Kalam persuaded Sonia to not become prime minister.

Sonia made her resignation a stumbling block in the face of BJP's legislative onslaught, responding to her first speech in Lok Sabha defending herself on "'humanitarian"' grounds by saying, "Woh theatrics main maahir hai."

On Wednesday, Sushma indulged in some more theatrics, going head to head with Sonia again, reminding Rahul to remember what Mumma and Papa had done to allow Quatrocchi to get away.

Previous contests have invariably ended in victory for Sonia:

1. Bellary, 1999

Sushma went up against a newbie Sonia, learnt Kannada in 30 days, discovered the Bellary brothers, and almost defeated the Congress president, making headlines every time she questioned her foreign origins.

Set #1: Close win for Sonia.

2. Delhi, 2004

When the NDA lost the elections in 2004, Sushma said she would shave her head, wear a white saree and eat groundnuts if Sonia became prime minister. Fortunately, the late great Kalam intervened and we were spared that vision.

Set #2: Close shave for Sushma.

3. Delhi, 2009

When Sushma became Leader of the Opposition in the Lok Sabha and Sonia was Congress President of a government in decline, they seemed to have hugged and made up. Stories surfaced of their sisterhood, no doubt strengthened by the common dislike for bhai Narendra Modi.

Set #3: Love all. So who wins game, set and match?

Sonia and Rahul have attacked Sushma's husband and daughter.

Sushma has attacked Sonia and the late Rajiv Gandhi.

We are waiting for match referee Priyanka Gandhi Vadra to serve an ace some time soon.