What happens now if Anushka Sharma stays away from cricket?
[Satire] And what if she doesn't.
- Total Shares
It appears Virat-Anushka are on a break. What next? Will Anushka-cricket also be on a break? Was that the last time she stepped into a cricket stadium? What will happen to that moment – that moment when Virat hits a six, camera number 14, specially assigned to keep a watchful eye on Anushka and zoom into her joyful face, excitedly exchanging "how does he do it, too much baba just too much" with her lady friend– what will happen to camera number 14?
Camera number 14 will be orphaned. Never again will it be able to capture that pain when Virat falls after hitting a six like it did that day. Six and out, you remember that match, just the other day it happened. Camera number 14 will never forget it. For Cameraman number 14, this was three hours of Karan Johar compressed into a few minutes, how good it looked on his resume.
"Yeah, Boss, I shot that, see see, Anushka on top of the world, Virat flying kiss, Anushka crashing down, all in one take, boss, no retakes, this is real life and reel life can never imitate real life, boss."
What about those guys on Twitter who only tweeted during an Anushka sighting at a cricket match? They'll never forget the first time, how can they – that tweet that half joked/half blamed Anushka for Virat's dismissal. It wasn't funny but it was crude-cute and damn, it got so-so-so-many retweets that they made a business model of tweeting Anushka responsible for Virat dismissal half joke/half blame tweets. And soon everyone was on to it.
When the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) announced a WAG (Wives and Girlfriends) ban on a Sri Lankan tour, it was asked with utmost seriousness – without Anushka, can this tour go on? What's more, after the WAG’s ban, even some media houses threatened to boycott the tour.
So now you have a sense of Anushka, and what she meant to not just Virat's heartbeat but the very beating heart of Indian cricket. Her best performances in the last two years were not on the silver screen, they were on our TV screens of her in Wankhede and Adelaide and Sydney. And do you remember that photograph, Virat and Anushka with Shastri walking a few paces behind like a brotherly bodyguard, will we ever be able to recreate that magic between the three amigos again?
But this is all conjecture, so while we're getting ahead of ourselves, let's overshoot some more – what if Anushka and cricket are eternal, what if in spite of whatever, she throngs the world's cricket grounds along with the greatest Sachin Tendulkar fan, Sudhir Kumar Chaudhary? What if she paints herself in the tricolour too – and paints Kohli 18 on to her svelte body. (just like Sudhir Kumar has painted Tendulkar 10)
Then it will dawn upon us, that all along, like millions of us, she loved Virat Kohli, the cricketer more than Virat the man. Imagine her and Sudhir Kumar, brandishing the Indian flag together, that would be something. Take that football.
And during Pakistan matches (against countries other than India obviously) she shows her true love for the game, transcending borders, and hangs out with good old Chaudhry Abdul Jalil, you know the one and only Chacha Cricket of Pakistan. Who knows, with Anushka Indo-Pak peace via cricket could be achieved, or at least for the time being, a selfie with Sudhir Kumar, Chacha Cricket and herself. That’ll do for now, the cricket fan doesn’t ask for much.
And by that same token, during Sri Lanka matches (not against India obviously) she soaks it in with the greatest Lankan fan, Percy Abeysekera. What a sight it will be, Percy and Anushka, great ambassadors for the game and even more India-Lanka matches (just like the good ol' days)
As a lover of the game, we must believe. Who knows, maybe she'll even sledge the Aussies. As for showing the finger, only time will tell. Only then will we know that Virat has taught his Anushka well.
(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)