Victim of gang rape and MMS scandal wants you to be the first to read her story
Less than three weeks ago, Priya Jason from Chennai shattered her silence on being a rape and abuse victim. Her story was widely shared, an eye-opener in the wake of the hoopla surrounding the documentary, India's Daughter. The response was alarming: I was told off by women editors, who said Priya hadn't sought legal action against her father. Some alleged that the article lacked validity. Others pointed out a lot of women file fake cases to trap men.
How do you measure the worth of a woman's voice? What role is the media supposed to play in championing those living in fear? Is an FIR, a court notice, a lawyer's credibility the biggest stamp on a woman's body?
As I grappled with these questions, 20-year-old Ria from Siliguri sent me a message. Her saga of gang rape, the complications in her legal battle, her mental torture and inner demons reflect our collective failure as a society - that on one hand screams hoarse for justice, while conveniently turning a deaf ear to a woman fallen. I would like you to hear her story in her own words:
My parents were overprotective and conservative about what girls can and should do…
I was born and raised in Siliguri. I belong to a middle class family. My father is a government servant. My mother a housewife. My younger sister is in school. I am in my BSc final year.
I had known my boyfriend since school. He used to be my best friend's friends' friend. He and I had never met, we would chat over the phone. We became good friends, and then lovers. He is a student of Suryasen College. We were in a relationship for about six months. He would often say he'd like to marry me, that he loved me. I trusted him. We had kissed, never had sex. He was always gentle. There was never any reason to suspect him.
I was wrong.
Nirbhaya was raped on December 16, 2012 and I was raped two days later, on December 19…
On December 16, 2012, Nirbhaya was raped. I shared a Facebook post saying that she must get justice.
Around the same date, my boyfriend insisted we attend his friend's birthday party. I had met his friends, they were always polite. To make me feel comfortable, my boyfriend said there would be two more girls there, and he would accompany me.
It was one in the afternoon when my boyfriend suddenly took me aside to another room at the party. We kissed, everything was normal and yet somehow I felt uncomfortable. As if somebody was standing behind me. Just as I turned, I noticed one of his friends was watching us kiss. I freaked out. His friend forcibly pulled me towards him. I couldn't understand what was happening. I looked at my boyfriend, pleading, please do something. Coldly, he muttered, "Please jaan, do it for me. I love u na."
Not knowing what to do next, I ran out of the room, but I couldn't manage to get out. His two other friends were outside. I frantically searched for the other two girls, but I found myself trapped.
I was trapped since I hadn't told anyone that I was attending this particular party. My phone was in my purse, but the purse was in the other room. My boyfriend followed me and began to undress me. I begged him to stop, set me free, but he threatened me saying if I did not cooperate, his friends would rape me. They were already touching me by then. I started to cry.
He kept saying, if I don't give them what they want, they wouldn't return my clothes. I will have to walk out of the house naked. I could not even escape, the door was bolted from the outside and his friends were on the other side. The PG was on the topmost floor of the buidling, so even if I screamed, no one would hear me. I had consumed some soft drink, and I was so petrified. I can't even recall if they had actually drugged me. My mind stopped functioning.
They did it, one by one. The torture went on for almost three hours. One of them made a video of the whole act. I watched myself being photographed, writhing in pain. I couldn't stand up as they played with my body, treating it like a toy. After they were satisfied, they said I could leave. When I limped out of the room, his friends who were standing outside started to laugh, giving me dirty looks.
I didn't know what to do when I got back home. I ached to tell my mother everything; cry in her lap. I did not have the guts. After reaching home, one of them called me saying I would have to come when they'd call, or else they would upload the video on the internet.
I went twice after. I felt like I was a prostitute. Everytime they did it, they would give me contraceptive pills. I missed my periods for two months because of them. I bled a lot during the act - the pain was unbearable. After a while I couldn't bear it, and started refusing them.
Mentally and physically tortured, I couldn't focus on my studies. I couldn't open up to anyone.
After I stopped going to them when they called, they started blackmailing me. This was 2013. I blocked them from everywhere. They began to stalk me, passed vulgar comments, attempted to molest me in public…
This harassment continued for months, during which time they shared my number. I received calls from a whole lot of unknown men, demanding to know my rate for one night. Once on my way back from college, a male friend who was accompanying me was attacked by these boys after I'd left. They warned him to stay away from me. Very soon, he stopped contacting me.
I tried to move on from this dark episode but they never allowed me to do so. Everyone on the streets of Siliguri looked at me weirdly. This continued till 2014.
The incident would haunt me every night. I wanted to kill myself.
One of my friends Lucky noticed something was amiss. After much persuasion, I told him what had happened. He convinced me to speak up and ensure these culprits were placed behind bars.
Around the time, I bumped into the same friend who was attacked by these men. When I asked him why had he started to avoid me, he said he had received a MMS. In it, he saw me having sex with a few men. The footage was blurred, only my face was visible, along with some man saying my name out aloud.
The room suddenly began to spin. It hit me then. I realised why people had been looking at me so strangely in public.
Lucky told me I should first confirm the authenticity of the MMS before taking the next step. We decided to confront my ex and ask him what he'd done with the video. As soon as I reached his college, he slapped me, kicked me in front of everyone. A scuffle broke loose. The police arrived and arrested my ex.
I filed an FIR. Charging my ex with making a fake MMS, blackmailing me with the same, sexual assault, and also insulting and damaging my reputation in public.
When I went to file an FIR, he was sitting outside the station. He threatened me, "Dekh tere saath ab kya yoga…"
The police did nothing.
I have not filed an FIR for rape. Everyone will blame me saying it was my fault. So I wrote that my boyfriend had blackmailed me with a fake MMS... The police and judicial system don't help a victim or cooperate with us. All they do is harass, by asking me to describe that video…
The case was filed the next day, February 3, 2015. I smiled for the first time in two years. But I had a much harder road ahead of me. Despite sharing all names and numbers with the police, only my ex was arrested. They didn't even interrogate the others.
It's unfortunate that I live in a society where a girl feels it's easier to be dead than to speak up about sexual crimes. My parents were supportive at first, but as the case dragged on, I found people who had assured me of their support suddenly disappear from my life. Even my father blamed me, saying whatever had happened was in fact my responsibility. He blamed my clothes for attracting all the attention.
After this, I did not feel like revealing the whole truth to my family. The police officers further went on to say that it's not a big deal to have your MMS available on internet, claiming even celebrities these days have their porn videos online.
My mother and some family members accused me of deliberately getting the boy arrested by cooking up a false story, seeking revenge for having broken up with me.
I wasn't provided a woman doctor. The doctor at North Bengal Medical College who examined me only sniggered, "Firstly, you enjoy the sex with them. Now you are either complaining because it has been circulated or because they couldn't satisfy you."
The doctor couldn't conduct the examination as I was menstruating. I had to request for a woman doctor.
I am not a victim. I didn't die. I survived. I don't want sympathy, I demand justice.
According to our legal system, a victim does not have to hire a lawyer, a sarkari lawyer will fight my case. I have no lawyer.
My ex was booked under Section 354D, which means he can't get bail before 90 days, and yet he only served 24 days, subsequently released on anticipatory bail. Maybe he has bribed the police and judges.
I have written to the district magistrate after he got bail. No investigation has been conducted. The very next day the Siliguri police commissioner called me, asking to meet him. I asked him how the accused got bail under a non-bailable act. To which he responded, "Aaj kal toh murder and rape case mein bhi bail mil jati hain. Yeh toh kuch nahin hain. Aap to jaante hi honge, court sabh corrupt ho gaye hain, bail milna bhi chhoti baat hain."
The police have claimed that there was no proof that my boyfriend had made the video. After he was released, I received some obnoxious and abusive calls from unknown numbers.
I don't know how long this will last. I am battling this alone. The police have granted me no protection.
I want to live my life like a normal girl. I am preparing for the IPS. I hope to clear the exams and if I get selected I want to help those girls who have to face police insensitivity after being sexually violated.
Every girl should speak up about the crimes they have faced. Society won't support us when we are alive. All they are really capable of doing is organising candle marches and writing RIP tributes on social media after we are dead and gone.
Having sex with a man you love and respect is not a crime, but raping someone in the name of love and betraying their trust is. I loved my boyfriend and he prostituted me amongst his friends.
I can't trust anyone again.
Why should I trust someone again?
Should I have filed an FIR against rape?
I regret every second I have delayed in filing the FIR, perhaps some other girl could have been saved. However, now it's of no importance, everyone anyway assumes my story's fake and I have made up all the details to attain sympathy. Also, what's the proof that I was raped that night?
I have no evidence -the doctor can easily claim that I had consensual sex with the accused.
My next court hearing is on April 7, 2015.