Before you 'like' this, let's talk about switching off

I still remember the first time my mother sent me a text message. I was thrilled. She had finally taken to one of the most basic functions of a mobile phone. She did it after much coaxing. After years of making excuses, like the font size is too small for her to read clearly, she finally gave in. Now, of course, she has graduated to using social networking apps. She is fast turning pro at exchanging videos and photos.

For my mother, who is retired and now mostly stays at home far away from us, technology has opened up a whole new world. She feels connected. She is enjoying a daily visual report of how her grandchildren are growing up. She is less nervous when one of her daughters does not answer her calls because she can check on WhatsApp when we were "last seen". Needless to say, it can also get us into serious trouble sometimes. But by and large she is beginning to appreciate the advances made in technology.

Yet, despite all the messaging, she sometimes rues. It is not the same as "you being here". Can anything ever replace the physical presence of a person, a warm smile, a tight hug or simply, just each other's presence without saying a word, no status updates needed?

I seem to know what's happening in the lives of all my Facebook friends. I "like" happy updates, express solidarity or sympathy when tragedy strikes. I know so much and yet I know so little. For sometimes, I know too much about someone who I would not otherwise care much about. And, sometimes I know too little about someone I deeply care about because the person is not so much of an extrovert or maybe just a little reserved about sharing much on a rather public platform. Sometimes, this distinction between types of friends blurs on the social media platform. There is a presumption that we are connected with all, when sometimes we really are just skimming the surface.

Just sipping tea for an hour with a friend or a grandparent on a stormy, raining day might give us more perspective on life than the advice shared on social platforms. But where is the time? Don't we all have to manage half a dozen social media platforms we are on. We may be out on a leisurely stroll or a gym workout to stay fit but we stress over taking the right pictures to upload. If we aren't putting up enough updates or photograps of our vacations on Facebook or Instragam, people will presume we are not well travelled. If we are not too chatty on school or college WhatsApp groups, we will be considered proud. If we are not part of some list of ten best books we have read or the sarees we own, we are not cool enough. So, when and how did friendship become a game of judging each other? And, a platform meant to connect people, start making them feel like losers in life? It does not really seem like a cozy corner of comfort a friend would provide. 

For most of us it is a struggle to draw the line between the virtual and the real world. Trolls on Twitter take a toll on our composure. Nameless, identitiless entities sometimes assume more significance than real people. So much so, we spend our precious time and energy giving them "befitting" replies. 

A certain level of social engagement is an indicator of a person's emotional well-being but just when did the virtual offshoot turn into a means of self aggrandisment and distance us from the real world, no one really knows. With the virtual world looking more real in our lives with each passing day, sometimes all we really need to do is to stop and smell the roses.