Got the memo, Satya Nadella?

We all are by now familiar with Satya Nadella's theory of good karma at the workplace. Addressing women at a gathering last week, on the subject of negotiating raises, he said. "It's not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along." And then he really screwed it up further - if it were possible - by adding that this is all "good karma" that would help a boss realise the employee's worth.

Of course everyone's having a fit. But there's a silver lining - good karma, see - because the Microsoft CEO's comments offer women an opportunity out of the blue to renegotiate the rules at the workplace, because, well, you know, just to prove to Mr Nadella and their ilk that they can.

To start off, here's a wish list I thought up (disclaimer: this is not an inclusive list and is not drawn up to appeal to all cross sections or types of industries. Also: All resemblance to persons living or dead is a coincidence).

1. Air conditioning must remain decent, at a temperature fit for humans, not for hairy polar bears in a snow cave. This is good karma as it will stop one half of the less hairy gender to desist from sending looks to freeze your way. You don't want all that icy gaze to add up and turn you into an icicle in your next life, do you?

2. Minus karma points every time for the asshole who asks "any questions?" and then practically goes ballistic when a woman in the room dares to have one. If this is repeated more than three times, the offender will be made into the voodoo doll of the week to practice office voodoo on.

3. Anyone who can't find in themselves the maturity to apologise right away for misogynist speech and action - and further insult the intelligence of colleagues with twisted corporate jargon, trying to explain what they in fact actually meant - to be conferred the Nadella Award for Inarticulate Feminism. The honour must go on his/her official records for full good karmic benefits.

4. Creeping into her cabin and whispering an apology in the ear of a colleague for sexist speech - when the sexist speech was carried out in full public view - to be similarly conferred the award for Misogynist Rat. This award must also go on the CV, or the offender will, due to effects of this particular karma law of the workplace, be reborn as a rat in his next life.

5. Torturing people with tales of your spouse and children, and your skills at golfing or tastes in wine, is also the sort of boring boss talk people tolerate in the name of good CV karma. If you can't stop, remember it will come back to you, in terms of karma coins, as lost business class baggage at Air India or a drunk socialite cornering you at a party and not letting you go all evening (remember an evening with an already semi articulate socialite, shitfaced, is far more torturous than it sounds).

6. Paan chewing men should be declared aesthetically bad karma or bad feng shui. They should change their ways or else at least be replaced by a feng shui friendly potted plant.

This is just my own list, and you're free to add to it. As we go along, it won't be a bad idea to have a full Nadella inspired epic on the karmic rules of the workplace.