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How we underestimate the power of words

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Urban Monk
Urban MonkJan 08, 2016 | 16:22

How we underestimate the power of words

I know a couple, uncoupled now, whose relationship was defined by the power of their words. Being academics, words had a special attraction for them. In work and in relationships, they used words like tools - selecting, polishing, pruning, honing - with great care.

I saw them fall in love. Not the usual moonlight-and-roses romance: they would discuss each others' work, thoughts, values, politics-for hours. Words brought them so close that one would say a few words and the other would finish the sentence.

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I also saw them fall out of love. And I saw them using words with great effect and precision, targeted to hurt each other the most, until their relationship was annihilated. In the great void of memory now, those words still remain in their minds, as real as pebbles and just as hurtful.

The couple in question clearly forgot the magic that had once brought them close. And words are magic. They can make or break. The point is, most of us, most of the time, speak without thinking; we don't know what we are saying until we say it; we don't listen; we interrupt constantly; and we say things we don't mean to or believe in.

That's why, the spiritual masters warn us about the useless words we utter each day. Because, words can be potent. They can be animated by the power of active thoughts and emotions when we speak or write. And with repetition, they can get more ingrained, more solidified, in consciousness: of one who is speaking, one who is listening and perhaps of the web of consciousness of the universe.

What matters is the intentionality and the attitude, behind words. Catch yourself while speaking, and ask if what you are about to say is going to help anyone. If you have the opportunity to express a happy thought or a helpful wish, go ahead. But if you are going to talk about trouble at work, illness or how "Pakistan hates India," stop: are they worth giving more power to?

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I will always remember a former boss of mine for what she told me once: "How do you justify the salary you get?" It doesn't matter whether she was right or wrong but the impact of those words was so overwhelming that they made me decide that very moment, many years ago, that I will not allow anybody else to say that to me ever again. I didn't. But at a cost: over the years, those words pushed me toward a skewed lifestyle - all work and no play.

I don't mind, even at the cost of becoming a dull boy.

Last updated: January 08, 2016 | 16:28
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