I tried looking for 3 million dollars in my inbox and found these 11 types of emails instead
Our email inbox is the one digital space that is consistently replenished like a deep wastebasket with no end, and needs to be emptied on a regular basis. The ever-growing inbox can challenge our sense of accomplishment and make us feel like we are no good. This is why checking our mails can often get so overwhelming and seem like a big task. But no matter what, we all get the kind of mails in our mailbox which are outright annoying and take up A LOT of space.
Recently, a US woman found a legit 3 million dollar lottery prize in her spam mail and that got me thinking: What if I have a chupa khazaana in my mailbox too? Turns out this is all the gold I have. I have classified of all my mails into these types.
Here's how yours might look like too:
FIRST THE GOOD ONES
1. MOTIVATIONAL MAILS, THAT WE JUST DON'T READ (OR NEED)
How many of us have signed up for affirmations, self-help content and motivational boosts in the past that just gave us a sense of positive jolt in the moment? Over time, these mails have slowly continued to remain unopened for a longer period of time, and over time, sorted themseves into the spam folder.
2. ARE YOU TRACKING YOUR POINTS THAT YOU MIGHT NEVER USE?
Everytime you use your debit card, there are some points that get collected at the backend and there is a mail statement that is sent to each of us at the end of the month for every card you have. I mean do we really need these? It's nice for acknowledging that you have leaned back and earned some points without any hard work, but how many of us really use them on ALL of our cards?
Here's a experiment: collect all your cards and points earned on them and once you total them, comment below if you can buy something substantial from it. Or if you have to wait for years for it to become substantial in the first place.
(btw, still no 3 million dollar prize...)
3. BEWARE BITCOIN!
Bitcoin, Bitcoin currency, Bitcoin Bank are all fancy terms that are new entrants to the old industry of email marketing. Any confirmation on such mails is to be straight ignored and reported as spam. Unless you want to check out the $34.6 worth of bitcoin that has been credited to your account which you never even created. Even if there is a Google form titled 'Important Order'.
4. THE NON EXISTENTIAL BITCOIN BANK AND ACCOUNT
I don't even know how Bitcoin works and here I am winning some $41 odd dollars in my account which I did not even open. Fancy! I wonder how they never show up in my actual bank account... (nope, still no 3 million dollars)
5. SO MANY PAYMENT MAILS
I love how there are so many payment emails in my spam box where they do not even tell me why they are paying me and for what they are paying me. Wondering what I have to do (other than clicking on the notorious link) to get the money from an email to translate into hard cash.
6. THE COUPONS
The good thing about some spam mails are how they put so much effort into writing the title of the mail and linking it to the upcoming festivals, assuming that you even get to see them among the bunch of other mails that wait for your attention. Oh wait, that is the reason I even saw this one and put it here. Looks like the Croma copywriter did a good job.
7. THE USEFUL NEWS THAT WE SIGNED UP FOR, BUT DON'T READ WHEN IT'S IN OUR INBOX
How many guilty faces here, raise your hands! I have subscribed to so many newsletters to get all news to directly flow into my inbox... But do I even open any one of them? Nope. There is a different level of satisfaction we get to hunt stories from among the crowd. So much so, that even when someone serves it to us on a platter, they end up going to the spam folder.
8. ANYONE WANT A HOME?
Mails like these subtly show that you need to grow up (and get out of your parents' home) which is why every mail like this (that goes out of their way) usually is ignored. And btw who decided this place?
9. LEARN THIS TO WIN BIG
Social media scholars whose email id ends with a Gmail id send mails to show you how to become popular on Instagram. Even Gmail asks you to be 'careful with this message' and highlights it in a colour your eyes will (hopefully) not miss.
10. JOBS
Job applications that start with "*First Name*, You are a top applicant for XYZ job. Apply Now!" are plain annoying.
I get this multiple times every week. Thing is, this is not even my profile nor have I applied for one in a long time. Every time you apply for a new job in one of these groups, they easily get you to sign up and sign in. But once you want to discontinue these email notifications, the unsubscribing process is so long that you might just prefer to continue to get these annoying emails.
11. DO THIS AND WIN BIG
Do this at your own risk.
And before we sign off, I'm sure your inbox has had that offer of millions of dollars from that Prince in Nigeria whose father died and left him a fortune that he wants to share with you, a stranger saat samandar paar. You just need to share a few details (Tip: Don't.).
Now, I've been through all mails in my inbox because of this story... and guess what. No, still no 3 million dollars. Not even a dollar (or rupee) that I can (actually) use.
Tell us if your inbox is any different in the time I take to wipe my tears...