We outraged over Bangalore mass molestation, but for the wrong reasons
How long before the outrage over Bengaluru mass molestation dies out and we move on to other burning issues, only to be jolted by another high-profile case of rape/molestation? In the time in between, women will continue to be groped, poked, pressed against and raped because India refuses to acknowledge that it's her men who have a problem; that sexual assault is not about sex.
Since sex is a bad word in our society, sexual assault naturally falls into the "bad thing" category. We have categories of sex, and all except one are crimes in society's eyes. We end up putting too much emphasis on the gender/sex aspect of what is violence/assault.
Sex itself is taboo, so our faculties focus on the nature of the crime more than the crime itself. Hence, most rapes are not reported.
The photos of the victims in reported rapes are blurred, as required by law. Victims of all other violence can show their faces, but victims of sexual violence cannot. Because the shame of sex is all hers. The rapist shares none of it, because it's about "sex".
The operative word in sexual assault is assault, not sexual. Once everyone, especially the arms of law, gets this, you will see change.
The crime here is the use of force against an individual's will. But in an oppressive society like ours, use of force, physical and otherwise, is so common and pervasive that we haven't the foggiest of individual will. For society in general, the H in her horror stands for Hawww! In forced sex, the keyword is forced, not what gets all the attention: sex.
Since sex is also about purity/piety/honour, the implications go beyond the realm of crime and sink in the muddied waters of morality, clothing and character. We move on to discussing the rights of a righteous idiot proscribing a clothing and a religious nut prescribing one. The noise in the news is no longer about a woman's right to live without fearing men.
Our approach to sexual assault has been pathetic for as long we can remember. Oh my god, she was forced to have sex and now her honour has gone away. She is damaged goods now. Even if she tries to shake it off, she can't because though the body heals itself, the imaginary honour somehow doesn't return.
Hence, the daughter is the family's jewel. Protected, precious: but a thing. A thing that can be robbed. A woman's honour lies between her legs and mammary glands. In popular Bollywood parlance, rape has been "izzat lutna".
Hindi newspapers no longer call it "balatkaar" but "dushkarm". Please notice that the word balatkaar has "bal" (force) in it. We replace it with "dushkarm", which literally means "bad deed". When I said the word softens the crime, a senior editor once told me readers don't like news about rape/violence. It upsets them. Hence, wrapping a heinous crime in a more palatable "bad thing". Something bad happened to her! Unfortunate. Because it involved sex.
If you focus on assault and ignore sexual, you may realise sexual assault is rampant in societies where assault is rampant.
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| The photos of the victims in reported rapes are blurred, as required by law, because there is stigma attached to it. [Photo: Indiatoday.in] |
Of course, patriarchy/misogyny is at the root of this, but if you start debating about solving it from there, you may not live to see the day. Women, too, play a huge role in perpetuating patriarchy and misogyny. If you drag the larger debate into this, good luck with that. A noticeable change in deep-rooted mindsets takes centuries. If you want change now, deal with it with the tools you have.
Too many people get away with too many criminal acts, because we have failed to establish respect for law. The fear and certainty of punishment is the only deterrent. Starts right at the traffic signal.
The guy who beats up a man because his bicycle scraped against his car will molest a woman because he doesn't believe the law will bother with him.
The group of men who thrash a toll-booth clerk will gangrape a woman if they were sufficiently drunk and they could drag a woman into a corner. Yes, please start believing in the inherent bad in humans if you believe in the inherent good.
A woman lost her way and took shelter in the village temple where the priest raped her. The word spread and men sneaked out of their homes and took turns to rape her. By morning, she was half dead. Not because all men were rapists before that. But don't underestimate the power of the inherent evil in men.
A crime has to be fixed by the application of law: the existing laws, not the so-called stronger ones. What matters is the conviction, consistency and certainty of prescribed punishment.
No need to hang someone. Hangings haven't helped homicide rates. The belief that one will not be caught is what keeps murder rates where they are.
If men are not absolutely sure of avoiding getting caught, most won't act the way they do. Even if it means only a couple of months in jail. These men who grope and fondle women in public places also have families (yes, maa-behen too), work and lives to take care of. Problem is most are absolutely sure of no consequence. Shake this belief to begin with.
Shake the belief that they are having a little fun. Shake the belief that "boys will be boys". Shake the belief that women, or for that matter men, will ultimately enjoy something against their will because they enjoy the same with someone willingly. That victims of sexual assault are victims of assault. That her tormentor should hide in shame, not she. That force is the crime, not sex.