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Suleiman and Anwar discover demonetisation is not a failure, liberals are

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Minhaz Merchant
Minhaz MerchantDec 27, 2016 | 19:38

Suleiman and Anwar discover demonetisation is not a failure, liberals are

“Suleiman!” Anwar’s voice boomed over the phone. “I’ve been invited to a post-Christmas adda by a friend who’s a true-blue liberal. The place will be full of clever liberals. None of these silly right-wingers.”

Suleiman was delighted. After spending over a decade in illiberal Saudi Arabia he always looked forward to meeting liberals in India on his visits home. “That’s great, Anwarbhai,” he said, glancing around his sparsely furnished room in Delhi. He was in India for a few days and was keen to learn about all the frenetic things that were going on in the country. It’ll be nice to listen to liberal, open-minded people, he thought to himself.

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Anwar picked Suleiman up just after 6.00pm on the day after Christmas from his modest rented home. “Nice car, Anwarbhai,” Suleiman said as he slid into the front leather seat of his friend’s black 5 Series BMW. “When did you get it?”

“Oh, just a few weeks ago, Suleiman,” Anwar replied with a slightly embarrassed smile. “It’s a gift, actually. I couldn’t afford the Rs 60 lakh price tag myself.”

“A gift from a liberal friend?” Suleiman asked quizzically. “They seem to be the ones caught with black money in all those raids after demonetisation.”

Anwar changed the subject. “Ah, here we are, Suleiman,” he said as he eased his BMW into a parking slot just outside an imposing building in south Delhi. “My media friend is a great organiser of these idea addas.”

As the two friends entered the large hall with theatre-style seating, a bespectacled man with a neat moustache who used to edit a newspaper greeted them. “Anwar, Merry Christmas, so nice to see you. You’ll meet lots of your friends here. And we have a great line-up of speakers today.”

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The liberals seem to be the ones caught with black money in the raids after demonetisation. Photo: PTI

As Suleiman and Anwar settled down in their seats towards the front of the room, the first speaker on stage was just getting into his stride. “The liberal, democratic ethos of our country is under attack,” he thundered. “First, the failed demonetisation experiment. Then the banning of all those secular NGOs. Now these nasty right-wingers are even telling people what not to name their child. We are heading towards fascism.”

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Suleiman nudged Anwar. He whispered in his friend’s ear: “But Anwarbhai, if India was heading towards fascism, how come these people call Prime Minister Narendra Modi psycho, madman, coward, fool, Hitler and yet nothing happens to them? ”

Anwar shot him a warning glance but Suleiman continued: “Anwarbhai, I read in a Saudi newspaper that Mamata Banerjee and Arvind Kejriwal had warned of riots because of demonetisation. Have there been any riots?”

“No, there haven’t, Suleiman,” Anwar said crossly. “But that doesn’t mean there won’t be any. My liberal friends says there’s still hope –” Anwar stopped mid-sentence, biting his tongue. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that Suleiman. You know, liberals like us hoping for riots…”

Suleiman interrupted him with a grin: “So that we can blame it on Modi, Anwarbhai? The only riots I’ve read about are in West Bengal and Mamata, not Modi, is in charge there.”

A second speaker had meanwhile taken the stage to applause. Suleiman recognised him as a renowned historian with a withering contempt for right-wing intellectuals.

“He mumbles,” Suleiman said, nudging Anwar. “He’s as incoherent a speaker as he is a writer.” Anwar looked at his friend with a shocked expression. “Suleiman, that’s our pre-eminent historian! Sure, he swallows his words but he’s right, the Right hasn’t produced an intellectual since Arun Shourie.

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“And the Left has produced Rahul Gandhi,” said Suleiman mischievously.

“Shhh…” Anwar gestured to the stage as yet another speaker arrived at the lectern. “That’s the famous op-ed columnist who heads a think tank,” Anwar said to Suleiman softly. “Listen carefully. He’s a fount of wisdom.”

Suleiman spent the next half-hour in rapt attention as the columnist waxed eloquent about the “renegade attempt to destablise an economic sub-system with a mendacious strategy unencumbered by rational thought.”

Suleiman looked sideways at Anwar. “I think, in English, he means demonetisation was a bad idea.”

Anwar grinned sheepishly. “Yes, he does rather get carried away with words. But he’s right, you know. Demonetisation is an utter failure.”

“Really Anwarbhai,” Suleiman asked, puzzled. “If it’s so bad, why did the BJP sweep the Chandigarh municipal election last week? I heard they won 21 out of 26 seats along with their alliance partner SAD. And of those the BJP won 20, SAD just 1 and the incumbent Congress 4. Looks like voters don’t agree that demonetisation’s a failure.”

Anwar rolled his eyes. “Suleiman, you’ve incorrigible. Anyway, here’s the panel discussion. Listen!”

On stage, a group of three grim-faced men were discussing the rise of right-wing fascism. When it was question time, a woman at the back of the hall asked: “Would you call the Left, with its record of bloody violence in Bengal and Kerala, fascist as well?”

There was a short silence before one of the panelists, an aman ki asha veteran, launched a defence of why Left-wing fascism was part of a people’s movement while Right-wing fascism was imposed by fringe Hindutva elements. He was met with liberal applause from the audience.

Suleiman shook his head in mock despair. “Anwarbhai, the RSS and the Left are two sides of the same coin. Both are conservative on economic policy. And liberals on the Left still worship Marx!”

Anwar sighed. His friend would never change, he thought to himself. “You’ve been away from India for too long Suleiman,” he said good-naturedly.

After the adda was over, Anwar and Suleiman walked slowly back to their car. Both were lost in deep thought. Suleiman broke the silence.

“You know, Anwarbhai, if what we just heard was an example of clever liberals, I’m not sure they’re either clever or liberal. They seem intolerant to other views. And that’s not liberal. Nor were their ideas particularly original or clever.”

Anwar patted his friend on the back. “Forget it, Suleiman. Maybe it was just their off-day. They’re usually better than this.”

Suleiman smiled to himself as they slid into Anwar’s gifted new BMW. That’s why, he mused, liberals are called gifted people.

Last updated: December 29, 2016 | 11:23
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