Misogyny zindabad, Indrani murdabad
Indians aren’t strangers to stereotypes. No matter where you look, there’s a stereotype staring right back at you. And just like most sections of our society, women are at the receiving end. Misogyny is so deep-rooted in our minds that we sometimes don’t realise just how appalling our words and actions can get. Indrani Mukerjea, the current cynosure of all eyes may or may not have been responsible for the murder of her daughter Sheena Bora - the way the case is unfolding every day, it’s hard to pick sides and assume anything - but what she’s certainly responsible for is bringing to light yet another stereotype rampant in our society; that career-driven women are universally abhorred and automatically considered to be bad mothers.
In the wake of the recent explosion of the Indrani-led news everywhere, actress Richa Chadha had retweeted something very pertinent. The tweet read: "The Indrani case will be used to reinforce every rotten stereotype about ambition in women".
The Indrani case will be used to reinforce every rotten stereotype about ambition in women.
— SonaliRanade (@sonaliranade) August 28, 2015And Barkha Dutt too asked a valid question online: "Siddhartha Das, father of Sheena and Mikhail also dumped his kids and built a new life. Will he be judged for abandoning (his children) the same way as Indrani?" To think of it, why do we, as a nation, hate Indrani? Is it because she could be responsible for the murder of her daughter or is it because she’s a woman, and a mother to top it all, who chose to leave her children with their grandparents, married thrice and made a successful professional life at the cost of everything personal? Are we even worried about finding out who killed Sheena or are we simply voyeurs enjoying every bit of this drama that’s bringing down a high-society, ambitious woman for what we believe is her rightful fate, since she belongs to a creed of women who run after their careers instead of running after their children?
In the Bollywood movie, Dil Dhadakne Do, that released a couple of months ago, Shefali Shah playing an ignored housewife to Anil Kapoor’s philandering, successful businessman, chides her own daughter (played by Priyanka Chopra), who runs her own successful business, to focus on her home, instead of work; all this when the daughter tries to discuss her marital issues with her mother. Zoya Akhtar’s film may have been all about the rich-and-elite families in Delhi but it’s a perception that’s prevalent in every part of this country. We either don’t encourage women to pursue their dreams, or if we do, we advise them to take it slow so as to focus on their familial responsibilities too. Kangana Ranaut has time and again spoken about how, growing up in a small town of Himachal Pradesh, she wasn’t encouraged enough to make a career, while her brother was always pressurised to make it big.
Why is it okay for a man to chase his dreams and a woman to sit at home? Yes, she gives birth to children, but that doesn’t mean she has to kill her own dreams. Indrani leaving her children in pursuit of a career maybe a debatable decision, but the issue is, our innate expectations from women are to somehow give it all up for the sake of marriage and children. Indrani was all of 20 when she gave birth to Sheena. Why was it necessary for her to let go of her ambition at that age? She decided to explore the world and build herself the life she wanted. People kept quiet even though they might have disagreed with her. But all hell broke loose when the murder of her daughter came to the limelight. Out came all the flag bearers of society’s morality and women’s duties and lashed out at her, not for being accused of murder, but failing to live up to her responsibilities as wife and mother and choosing to make money instead.
We’re all familiar with the "heroine" and the "vamp" classification in Hindi movies. The homely, virgin heroine was a sharp contrast to the smoking-and-drinking, cleavage-baring woman who seduced men, danced at bars and was unabashed about her sexuality. And we all hated the vamp. She symbolised everything we don’t like our women to be - she didn’t get married and raised children, she chose to do what she wanted to and didn’t conform to society’s demands. Haven’t we all turned Indrani into the "Vamp of 2015"? While the verdict on her involvement in the murder is yet to be out, haven’t we already labelled her a vile and debauched woman who deserves all that she’s getting? She made a career and that’s irrelevant. That she was involved with multiple men is the issue. Peter Mukerjea’s previous marriage somehow doesn’t trouble us though and neither does it bother us much that Sheena and Mikhail’s biological father left them too. Indrani is a woman and she dared to tread on her own path. How dare she, isn’t it?
The man can do all it takes to follow his dreams; hell that’s his right. But a woman has to be self-sacrificing. That’s her duty. The misogynistic attitude that’s in the hearts and minds of almost everyone around us is obvious, admit it or not. We aren’t shocked by the murder; we’re shocked at how a woman could do so just to make a career, the same career we’re always pushing our men to go all out for.
If Indrani is behind the murder, punish her by all means for that’s a crime alright. But let’s not judge her for her ambitions and her success. It’s the right of every man and every woman alike.