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Maggi row: In defence of lazy mothers

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Kaveree Bamzai
Kaveree BamzaiJun 09, 2015 | 17:14

Maggi row: In defence of lazy mothers

"I don't know why the mothers have become so lazy (that they feed their kids instant noodles)? Mothers of our generation used to serve homemade food like parantha, halwa and sivaia to their children." So said Usha Thakur, a BJP MLA from Indore, who last created a ruckus about young Muslim men dancing with young Hindu women during Navratras. Thank you, Ushaji. As if we were not already snowed under the burden of assorted labels society has chosen for us. We're lazy mothers if we feed our children Maggi. We're bad mothers if we work outside the home. We're not the-other-mothers when our children want to torture us with tales of how their friends' mothers cook better than us, spend more time with them than we do, and even help them with their holiday homework. We're good mothers only if we give up our careers and dedicate our lives to our children and husband - delightful as the prospect is, it is neither practical nor ideal. If we're half the world's population, we're also half the world's talent.

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But seeing as all this is so new, may I ask you a few questions?

1) Would lazy mothers include stay-at-home mothers who don't always want to cook, especially for children today whose taste buds have evolved and whose choices have expanded? Or does it refer merely to working mothers, those evil women who dare to find fulfilment in something apart from raising children and keeping good homes?

2) How often does one have to cook Maggi to be classified as a lazy mother? Once a week? Only on weekends? And since Maggi is off the shelves now, if we cook Wai Wai, Top Ramen or any other brand of instant noodles, is that all right?

3) If mothers who cook Maggi are lazy, how would you describe fathers who do the same or take their children out to restaurants? Would they be called lazy fathers? And ditto for mothers. If they take their children out to eat would you describe them as extra lazy mothers? Or as market friendly mothers contributing their bit to the sustenance of a consumer economy?

4) What exactly do you cook at home, Ushaji? And who does the cooking while you are campaigning or indulging in your other passion mentioned in your Wikipedia entry - poetry? If you do have a good cook who makes nutritious meals, I wouldn't mind borrowing him or her.

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5) If a lazy mother uses the time saved in cooking to help with the child's homework or have an extended chat or entertain his/her friends or play with the child, would she still be worth condemnation?

Your answers are very important Ushaji, because as you know mothers in India seek constant validation for themselves. It is a process unique to them. They give birth, they nurture their children, they try their best to help them academically, they inculcate the right values, they look after their grandchildren, and they also, in the midst of all this, take care of her husbands, their home, and their work. Yet it is never enough.

And why should it be? That will happen only if we have an equal society. Till then, to quote Taylor Swift who quoted Katie Couric who quoted Madeleine Albright who said this at a keynote speech at the Celebrating Inspiration luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team in 2006, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.''  It's up to each of us to decide where we want to go. I choose heaven. What about you, Ushaji? 

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Last updated: June 09, 2015 | 17:14
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