Why can't the Indian mindset allow unmarried adults to enjoy physical intimacy?
Indian cities hold an inherent grudge against single people. More so, if the person happens to be single and living alone.
And, god forbid, if that single-and-living-alone person happens to be a woman.
In one such "forbidden" city — Gurgaon — the residents’ welfare association of a gated condominium, Essel Towers, has issued a notice on April 8 with the subject, "rules and regulations for residents and visitors", that specifically lays out guidelines for singles. It reads, “Where only girls are staying, boy visitors shall not be allowed, and where boys are staying, girl visitors shall not be allowed”.
According The Indian Express, the notice states that the order has been passed by Essel Towers Maintenance Pvt. Ltd. (ETMPL), and the Essel Towers Residents’ Welfare Association (ETRWA).
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| The Indian moral police can't seem to imagine young men and women socialising without having sex. |
While it's not difficult to gauge what (adult men and women having sex) goes inside the minds of such moral police, the fact that can't go unnoticed is that adults having consensual physical intimacy is seen as unacceptable, unless they are married. So much so that everyone assumes the right to stop them.
How long will it take for India to accept the reality that single people do have sex, and it's not a crime when done consensually?
The problem becomes graver when it comes to women. Of India's 1.2 billion population, 71.4 million are single women, which include widows, divorcees, unmarried and those deserted by husbands.
So, do we expect all these adult women to not indulge in any physical intimacy?
While the law considers a woman denying sex to her husband as an act of mental cruelty, why is it difficult for us to accept that sex is a basic human need?
Notwithstanding the fact that not all single men and women meeting up at one place necessarily are doing so for the purpose of having sex, it also seems Indian moral police can't imagine socialising without having sex.
Are singles supposed to and allowed to live only in isolation — away from any social gathering and interaction?
There is also a problem with the outlook of Indians towards the institution of marriage.
If single people are not supposed to be sexually active, it also implies that we consider marriage to serve no other purpose, but to enjoy sex. The whole idea of "legalising" sex with marriage is not just absurd, but also speaks of our disregard to the institution of marriage. How we have rendered it to a mere functionality to fulfil carnal needs.
Marriage or the absence of that legal sanction to any relationship between two adults is more than just sex — it's about sharing a common life, common ideas and dreams that unite two people in their minds.
Adult men and women coming out of their parents' shelters and leading independent lives don't mean moral guardians of the society take over their minds and lives.
India of the 21 century somehow refuses to live in the present.
These moral guardians seem to be so frustrated with their sex lives (or the lack of that) that they want to take solace in someone else's celibacy, even if forced.
It's not just a shame how singles are being dominated by the predatory moral brigade, but perhaps a sign of the coming times when each individual human right will be dictated by the whims and fancy of the regressive superintendents.
It's high time we stop referring to adult singles as "girls and boys", they are men and women. Better accept that fact and move on with your own life.