Everybody reacts differently to death. Everyone's grief is different, even with a shared loss.
After veteran actor-politician Vinod Khanna passed away yesterday (April 27), his death too elicited different reactions from different corners of the country. But there were two public personalities — actor Rishi Kapoor and Puducherry lieutenant governor Kiran Bedi — who were angry with others for the way they mourned the actor's death, albeit for different reasons.
Veteran actor Kapoor was raging, and he unleashed that on Twitter, because the “so-called stars of this generation” didn't turn up at Khanna’s funeral on Thursday.
Shameful. Not ONE actor of this generation attended Vinod Khanna's funeral. And that too he has worked with them. Must learn to respect.
— Rishi Kapoor (@chintskap) April 27, 2017
“I was angered, not disheartened,” Kapoor was quoted by Hindustan Times. He was referring to the near-total absence of young actors at the funeral except Abhishek Bachchan and Randeep Hooda, the report said.
“What does an actor work for? It’s his last journey and you can’t come to pay [your] respects to the man who has worked in over 150 films and has been there for over four decades, and even has worked with you? Sad that a respected senior actor was sent away by not actually having a lot of people with him wishing him adieu.”
Kapoor went on to tweet that he is prepared for a similar fate.
Why this? Including mine and thereafter.When I die, I must be prepared.None will shoulder me. Very very angry with today's so called stars.
— Rishi Kapoor (@chintskap) April 27, 2017
Khanna's death at the age of 70 in Mumbai, after succumbing to bladder cancer, saw retired IPS officer and BJP leader Kiran Bedi also fuming on Twitter.
Her cause of annoyance: Vinod Khanna was mourned more than the 25-year-old Captain Ayush Yadav who lost his life in a terrorist attack on an Army camp in Kupwara, Jammu and Kashmir.
"U fail as a nation when 70yrs old #VinodKhanna is mourned MORE than 25 yrs old Capt Ayush Yadav who lost his life at #Kupwara" @SadhguruJV pic.twitter.com/OSd96KGCij
— Kiran Bedi (@thekiranbedi) April 27, 2017
While it's understandable that they both were saddened by the two deaths, is it fair enough to expect everybody to show equal amount of grief on the exactly the same issues? And how do you measure grief, anyway?
If an emotional Rishi Kapoor thought that he could take a moral high ground by pointing fingers at others, is it not true to an extent that every individual expresses grief differently? As far as paying one's respects is concerned, again it's not quantifiable and cannot be judged by the number of those in attendance at a private funeral.
Kapoor's son and Bollywood actor, Ranbir Kapoor, was also missing from the funeral, but the veteran actor clarified his son's absence. "Yes, it has been expressed earlier on social media [that] my wife and Ranbir are out of the country. Would never have been reason not to be there."
Kapoor also added that he was angry because many "chamcha people chose to attend Priyanka Chopra's do last night. But few at Vinod's. So angry with them".
If Kapoor's mispalced anger and the way he vented it looked unconvincing, Kiran Bedi's way of expressing her "love" for the martyr was even more feeble.
After all, why should a politician miss the opportunity to make hay while the sun is shining? Bedi's off-the-cuff post only proved her real intention behind her tweet. Not very different from Kapoor's, Bedi's reaction too seems more of a Twitter-induced publicity stunt and less of grief.
The BJP leader never cared to elaborate why she thought people or the nation mourned Khanna more than Captain Yadav.
Or, was there some other reason behind her anguish?
After the news of Khanna's death broke, Prime Minister Narendra Modi, too, paid his respects and tweeted:
Will always remember Vinod Khanna as a popular actor, dedicated leader & a wonderful human. Pained by his demise. My condolences.
— Narendra Modi (@narendramodi) April 27, 2017
Following his tweet, many questioned the nation's love for the soldiers who died in recent attacks in Kashmir and Chhattisgarh.
@narendramodi आज फिर देश ने दिखा दिया की वो कितना महान है, एक फ़िल्मी हीरो के जाने का ग़म,देश के असली हीरोज़ पर भारी पड़ गया #VinodKhanna #KupwaraAttack
— Divya Sharma (@SharmaGki_Londi) April 27, 2017
@SharmaGki_Londi @narendramodi r u right 26 hero ka koi gam nahi
— Pravinkumar (@pravinkumar1928) April 27, 2017
While claiming a moral high ground, Bedi too once again used the "our-soldiers-are-dying" argument to deflect all other dissensions. It's a different story that the BJP and the PM's own "soldier argument" boomeranged on them.
But in doing so, was she not insulting the dead by comparing how they were mourned?
Is it only through loud TV debates or incessant tweets that you express your grief and love for your nation?
In a nation where there is no respect for the living, these lessons in mourning were the last thing that the dead and their kin needed.
It's not how and how much you mourn somebody that matters, what matters is how you live and let others live!