Sexual abuse: Ali Zafar's 'I'm a husband and a son' is the lame excuse women are tired of hearing
These incidences did not happen when I was young, or just entering the industry, the singer tweeted.
Pakistani singer Meesha Shafi took Twitter by storm when she shared her #MeToo experience, accusing actor and musician Ali Zafar of sexually harassing her.
Prior to Shafi, many Pakistani women belonging to the entertainment industry lent their voice to the #MeToo movement, to which the country and its entertainment industry have finally woken up.
But Shafi’s revelation, in which she has not shied away from naming a prominent figure like Ali Zafar, is being seen as a laudable and exemplery move. Zafar, however, in a counter-tweet has refuted the allegations.
Sharing this because I believe that by speaking out about my own experience of sexual harassment, I will break the culture of silence that permeates through our society. It is not easy to speak out.. but it is harder to stay silent. My conscience will not allow it anymore #MeToo pic.twitter.com/iwex7e1NLZ
— Meesha Shafi (@itsmeeshashafi) 19 April 2018
The revelations also shatter some pre-conceived notions about the practices of sexual abuse existing in entertainment industries across the world.
Not when she was a newcomer
Sharing her story of pain on social media, she has written, “These incidences did not happen when I was young, or just entering the industry. This happened to me despite the fact that I am an empowered, accomplished woman who is known for speaking her mind! This happened to me as a mother of two children.”
So, she was not a victim of casting couch, which exists on the crutches of victim-shaming. Many in the entertainment industry acknowledge the presence of casting couch and say that it exists because of those who want a short-cut to success.
But with Shafi, this was not the case.
Here's what she wrote:
"As a woman, a public figure and a mother, I have always felt strongly about using my voice to encourage and support our youth who look up to me, especially girls who dream of carving their own path in Pakistan. Throughout my career, my family and my fans have given me unconditional love and support and that had been a blessing. It has allowed me space to be brave and to often speak up about issues. However, despite having a voice, there are some issues that are very difficult to speak about as a woman, especially sexual harassment."
It's not easy to stay silent
Slamming the culture of silence, which is only empowering the perpetrators, she said it’s never easy to speak up. “But it’s harder to stay silent. My conscience will not allow it anymore.
"Today I am breaking this culture of silence and I hope that by doing that I am setting an example for young women in my country to do the same. We only have our voices and the time has come to use them.
"No woman is ever safe from sexual harassment In our society, we hesitate to speak up and choose to stay silent and this emboldens sexual harassment to flourish. We must collectively use our voices to share stories so that we break this culture of silence and so that young women today are safer.
"If this can happen to someone like me, an established artist, then it can happen to any young woman hoping to break into the industry and that concerns me gravely," wrote Shafi.
#childabuse #saynotochildabuse #metoo The Maulvi who came to teach me the Quran abused me sexually .I froze in fear day after day .Share in support of children subjected to the sick acts ..by so called custodians of our religion
— Maheen Khan (@Maheenkhanpk) January 14, 2018
I was sexually abused by our cook at age 6. My parents took action but everyone remained silent as if it was my shame. At 34 I realised how it had impacted my life.the only shame is keeping SILENT #ChildAbuse #shame #NoMoreChildAbuse #MeToo #JusticeForZainab #HowToStopChildAbuse
— Frieha Altaf (@FriehaAltaf) January 14, 2018
And all this from a colleague
The singer knows Ali Zafar for years. "Ali is someone I have known for years and someone who I have shared the stage with. I feel betrayed by his behaviour and his attitude and I know that I am not alone," she wrote.
Having taken part in Coke Studio, Shafi is a prominent figure who also appeared in a small yet important role in Mira Nair's The Reluctant Fundamentalist. She also featured in UN Women Pakistan’s recent campaign to raise awareness about violence against women.
Zafar, who is also regular at Coke Studio, is well-known in Bollywood as well for his roles in movies like Tere Bin Laden and Kil Dill.
Zafar says he has a family and respects #MeToo movement
In his defence, Zafar, like most men accused of sexual misconduct, so far has come up with the cliched “I'm a husband to a wife and a son to a mother”.
“I intend to take this thrugh the courts of law and to address this professionally and seriously rather than to lodge any allegations here, contesting opersnal vendettas on social media and in turn disrespecting the movement, my family, the industry and my fans."
— Ali Zafar (@AliZafarsays) 19 April 2018
Twitteratis, on the other hand, taught him, and rightly so, that being a son and a husband doesn't wash away his guilt, which though is yet to be proved.
When will men learn that it's not a competition to associate yourself with as many women to prove you're a proponent of women rights. "Husband to a wife, father to a girl, son of a mother" did you just google how am I related to my female family members?!
— Pathhar Maria (@mariazubair) 19 April 2018
Just because you're a father and you've postured for causes does not absolve you of any wrongdoing.Take it up in the court, but leave your family's relationship with you out of it. It serves no purpose.
— Mahwash Ajaz (@mahwashajaz_) 19 April 2018
While Zafar may or may not be guilty of the crime, men - once and for all - must understand that this "son-father-husband" is too weak a shield to protect them.