11 must-haves for survival kit: Keep calm and live a little dangerously

Giving your children the skill to survive is essential to nurture them into becoming a happy well-rounded person.

 |  5-minute read |   22-04-2017
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It’s too late for me. I’m stuck in my ways. Maybe my daughter can be saved, moulded, nurtured into becoming a happy well-rounded person who always smiles and sees her glass as brimming over.

Fat chance; she has me for a mother and I don’t smile easily. That doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, in fact at the core I’m always happy; even in my hardest moments or my moodiest moods I am happy and I am a survivor — surely that counts for something. Yes, I want her to have a life full of explicit joy and cheer but, above all, I want her to be a person who is KIT (Keeping It Together).

What kind of person are you? One who is KIT when sh*t hits the fan, or do you fall apart because you were dealt an unfair hand? Is every difficult task Herculean? Do you feel the weight of the world on you? I’m not dismissing worries or glossing over struggles, but tell me whose life is strife-free?

Besides, what good does worrying about worry do, better to breathe, relax and tackle it with a calm mind.

pic2_042217114750.jpgOf course, I never remember this sound advice myself and am ready to burst a vessel every time I’m in a stressful situation, but I hold my nose and get on with whatever needs to be done, admittedly not in the calmest way but I get through it and none of it affects my (essentially effervescent) essence. This is KIT.

If you’re already this person, then go back to the Now This video you were watching or reading the Ivanka memes or whatever it is you were doing.

The rest of you superficially unhappy souls, here’s how you keep your sh*t together. (It’s a work in progress and I’m never going to have the entire skill set but I’m aspiring for my daughter to have it down and be an overtly happy being while she’s at it. Ya, ya transferred ambition.)

1) Roll with it. Today at a well-being seminar I was told about the distinct personalities of Rollers Vs Controllers.

Well, I’m both. I control so that I can roll with it. This is so individual; be whoever you need to so you can unclench and let go. I have to fret and micro-manage, then when I can do no more I take a big swig of wine and roll. Remember, it too will pass or worst case you’ll acclimatise. No point being an agoniser.

2) Panickers are so passé. Being the doomsday prophet has to be the most unattractive trait in the universe. Stop with the reality check; live a little dangerously, it will free you. Trust me, the sky will not open up and fall, well at least not on the dance floor.

3) When all else fails dance it off.

4) Don’t be a killer of joy. Be a seeker and spreader of it. Laughter is contagious and optimism addictive. If you see the bright side, you will always have company because everyone hungers to be pulled up not down.

5) Be noisily grateful. Oprah (the ultimate inspiration) has kept a gratitude journal for over 25 years because “if you concentrate on what you already have you will always end up having more”.

None of us who’re reading this live deprived lives, let’s start noticing all that we have rather than constantly focus on what we don’t. It will change our state of mind and that is everything.

6) Embody empathy. This has been a game changer for me and every time I’m crabby and ungrateful all I need is to look out and I’ll likely see a guard standing for his sixth hour of duty under the lashing rain or sun, just standing, looking at the world pass by and he’s not even half way through his day and he will do it again tomorrow and the day after and thank his stars for the job that feeds his family.

Empathy for someone else can make you so full that all your own emptiness vanishes.

7) Fool yourself into feeling it. As an actor, I fake it a lot but little did I realise that by plastering a phony smile I would start feeling it and attracting it. The other day my big deceiving grin attracted not one but a few flirtatious smiles from cute passerbys. Voila it changed my mood!

8) Morning rituals. Whether yours is reading the paper or making tea or yoga (mine is — no one talk to me or be near me till I have had two cups of coffee while cutting fruit and preparing breakfast), if you become mindful of it then it becomes your spiritual practice.

This daily ritual is essential “me time”. It will help you love yourself through the day. It must be device free.

pic1_042217114829.jpgGiving your children the skill to survive is essential to nurture them into becoming a happy well-rounded person.

9) Wait to connect. No switching on any electronic devices first thing in the morning — it causes anxiety of having to catch up even before you’ve begun. Make it a habit. Not easy at first but remind yourself that 20 minutes later will change nothing.

10) Be a sun worshipper. I’m a big city girl but it can erode, so take time and allow nature to do itsthing and rejuvenate you.

11) Know yourself. Don’t kid yourself into being somebody else. Be the best version of yourself and shine to light your own life. I do sweat the small stuff and I have the shortest fuse but on a good day I’m the fun-est person you could be with. It’s wonderfully self-sufficient when you can hold up your own mirror. I’m not always pleased with who I see but I’m getting closer to accepting and celebrating her.

Now can someone please convince my husband there’s nothing wrong with being a moody control freak who has a temper?

(Courtesy: Mail Today)

Also read: The upside and downside of social media

 

Writer

Koel Purie Rinchet Koel Purie Rinchet @koelscouch

Professional Attention Seeker. Currently loves and writes in Paris.

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