A loyal bhakt bends forward to thank government for all the bans

Dear politician,

It brings me great pleasure in thanking you for the recent bans that you have been imposing on the people who thought it was a great idea to vote for you and bring you to power. Every government should give utmost importance to such moral policing because the citizens are never mature enough to know what is right or wrong for them; even though the Constitution of our country, for some odd reason, thinks that they are mature enough to vote.

Keeping a check on issues like what the countrymen are eating, watching, talking about or thinking about are clearly the things which contribute to growth and development. Developed countries are not where they are today because its governments gave the citizens freedom to dream and live as they wish. It is countries which thought "religious laws are the best, bro" which are doing so much better today. This shows the level of dedication you are putting in the promises you made, like making this country digital, cleaning up the streets and rivers, educating every child, saving girls.

There is probably no better way to ensure that no woman is misbehaved with than by banning beef! Because cow is our mother; mother is a woman; and by banning consumption of cows people will automatically start respecting cows and hence respecting women. Your genius is unparalleled, dear sirs!

The job you are doing to make sure the minority groups do not feel left out is also commendable. A meat seller going home without money or food for his family for days should never stop a group of vegetarians from feeling hurt if meat is sold during their holy fast. As an educated and secular society we should be more sympathetic towards that dying animal, not the human who will die of hunger because of the ban.

Let me take this opportunity to say that as a voter and a responsible citizen I will always be by your side because from here on, only achhe din can come, as you had promised!

Thanking you

A bhakt.