Is my beef festival more tolerable than your pork festival?

Amidst the debate on intolerance that the nation has been embroiled with in recent times, student bodies at the Osmania University don't wish to stay far behind.

While one of them organised a beef festival, another within the same campus has decided to launch a counter campaign by announcing a pork festival. Now it's well-known that the eating beef is nothing short of a sin among Hindus, while Islam proscribes the consumption of pork. Acts like those planned by the Osmania University student bodies have the potential to cause a communal flare-up.

Since the student bodies at the Osmania University are on a spree of hurting religious sentiments, let's burn a few more bridges. Shall we?

Hey Osmania University kids, Jainism prohibits the consumption of all kinds of meat, garlic and onion amongst other things. So I hope to get complimentary passes to your annual chicken adraki (ginger chicken) festival.

I believe the only time in pre-independent India the beef controversy gained traction was during the Sepoy Mutiny when Indian soldiers of the British army refused to bite the bullet covers that were rumoured to have been greased with pig and cow fat.

I consider both the ideas of holding a beef festival and a pork festival to be equally pointless. By all means, consume what you want to in the confines of your house, unless you happen to reside in states where the consumption of a particular kind of meat is completely banned.

The gods don't keep Excel sheets tallying the number of times you ate what, you know. Consider if Lord Krishna and Jesus Christ had this conversation:

Lord Krishna: "Bro, what if I told you I have 1.5 lakh sinners in the food-related offences category this quarter?"

Jesus: "Lol, I guess it's the right time for you to stop dreaming about your year-end appraisals. Speaking of year-end, my alcohol offences numbers are going to break all records this year. These Russians, I tell you, never seem to get 'enough' of alcohol. My gun-related sinner count grew marginally by two per cent this quarter and according to my forecasts it will show a steady decline starting from the second quarter of 2016. Anyway, I will catch you later. I have a budget review session to attend."

Thankfully, Jesus and Lord Krishna don't exactly go around exchanging KPI scores with each other.

Coming back to the strife at Osmania University, the beef festival, unfortunately, did take place, but thanks to the heavy police deployment on the campus, the students could cook beef only in their hostel rooms. When was the last time you heard hostel boys getting excited over cooking?

In conclusion, all I would like to say is that feel free to consume whatever you want to, but just don't get butter chicken in the midst of the debate. You see in Punjabi households like mine, "intergalactic wars" can get sparked off over the butter chicken supremacy debate.