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Intolerance? Blame Coldplay, not Sonu Nigam, Jet Airways

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Angshukanta Chakraborty
Angshukanta ChakrabortyFeb 05, 2016 | 18:51

Intolerance? Blame Coldplay, not Sonu Nigam, Jet Airways

Sonu Nigam might have stirred the hornet's nest with some light-headed and clear-throated impromptu action on-air, but there are real takeaways from this entirely spontaneous outpouring of powerful emotions, in-flight to boot!

Jet Airways airhostesses, who have been suspended for allowing the eager-to-oblige Bollywood singer to "perform a number" as per "audience request", [all the world is a Hindi film set] and who are supposed to undergo rigorous "corrective training", are perhaps twiddling their well-manicured thumbs, but let's understand their dilemma: Indian culture vs. Science. What do you think wins? Eh?

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Indians beat security risks with song n' dance

Hello? Our action heroes are also the world's best crooners, wooers, dancers, debaters, do-gooders; are they not? Isn't the antidote to national security risk just standing up when Jana Gana Mana is playing, anytime, anywhere? Aren't aeroplanes (especially chartered flights) sites of blossoming romance, according to our Made in India love manuals?

So what if an elementary understanding of "how planes fly" tells you that turning on your mobile phones or fiddling with the strict "flight mode", might cause electronic interference and affect controls or the autopilot. Of course, not. Aerial security threats only arise when a person with a Muslim name, or some bespectacled, bearded bore boards the plane and takes out a cheap handset.

Sonu's inner artist is alive and well

Isn't the nearness of a microphone, especially on-air, a clarion-call to the artist's heart and soul? How can a true performer not get aesthetically aroused after spotting a mic, even though it is meant for strict in-flight announcement, and is supposed to be accessed only by the cabin crew to instruct the mostly clueless passengers? Sonu Nigam has proved that he remains, first and foremost, a real artist because what are rules when faced with the call of the soul (and a bunch of filmi Indians)?

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DGCA's antennae are working

Directorate General of Civil Aviation, government of India, is obviously a well functioning body, which adheres to strict regulatory code of conduct. Of course, there never have been any shady "free ticket" racket, or fake licences sold by DGCA officials at plum prices to aeronautically-challenged boys wanting to glamorous in-charge of commercial planes. No, nada, not a chance. DGCA takes discipline very seriously, and obviously Sonu Nigam singing "koi sarhad na unhe roke" to a wedding troupe makes zero difference to civil aviation walas. Unless Nigam turns out to be a secret second cousin of Mahesh Sharma. Well, um, even then the DGCA can't be seen turning a blind eye to jet-setting troubadours' aerial transgressions.  

What if it were Coldplay or Beyonce?

Imagine if it were Coldplay's Chris Martin, aglow with his ruddy India love, and "drunk" on how Hymn for the Weekend is atop iTunes India, doing that impromptu gig on air. After all, Martin has developed a knack at breaking into a song every time he lands in India (remember how that Hauz Khas guitar-ing got every Mumbaikar seething in jealous fits?).

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Chris Martin performs at Summer House Cafe in New Delhi. [Photo courtesy: @Vishaldadlani]

What if Beyonce had declared, "If you liked it, you should have put a gig on it", on a Jodhpur-Mumbai flight?  Now they are shooting porn in space, for Chrissake! By that logic, any place with oxygen is basically a vertical backyard. Was the ruckus because Sonu is a brown Indian after all (even though he can pull off a Fair and Handsome ad!)?  

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India should patent #Intolerance

Thus Sonu cried intolerance. Aamir fronted Kiran Rao; Shah Rukh mouthed "secular progressive space"; Anupam Kher flaunted a Padma Bhushan and deflected it to Pakistan.

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Sonu Nigam is learning from Dr Dang!

#Intolerance is, by now, a curious success story, with the hallmarks of Make in India, Start-up India, Smart-up India, and what not. Intolerance is a tabula rasa. For Sonu Nigam, it's a tabla rasa. And his right to croon is now incontestable. Next time, he should try out an off-the-cuff underwater gig, with some tiger sharks, puffer fish and seasnakes, preferably.

Last updated: February 05, 2016 | 19:04
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