Like sex, talk to children about terrorism

As the world reels in shock in the aftermath of the Peshawar attack, mourning for the dead little souls must naturally give way to concern for the surviving, and the impact on larger group this unspeakable attack by terrorists was directed at: the children.

In modern times, with news exploding all around us, this poses a dilemma. Will we be only causing further trauma by discussing a crime that they are aware of that must have already caused stress to their young minds? Or should we just leave it be, and talk about happier things to distract them from the death and horror that inhuman terrorists have brought to childhood's doorstep?

Well meaning as we are at a time like this, it is vital to get a professional understanding of psychological impact on young minds of the shock of the massacre of the scale seen at Peshawar.

When most adults themselves are in shock, and perplexed by what must go through their child's mind, and both angry and helpless at the effect it may have on them, I spoke to Dr Sameer Parikh, head of psychiatry, Fortis, for a handy set of recommendations, an emotional first aid for young minds, so to speak, on what should be done to protect children from the trauma of such an incident.

Talk, talk, talk

Talking, according to Parikh, is the most important thing that one can do at a time like this, both at the level of school authorities, who must lead the discussion and encourage children to share their views and talk to each other, as well as home. He says: "Indians, especially, in a misplaced bid to protect children, tend to be hesitant to talk about violence or sex."

However, this is not the instinct that should prevail, as "children, in reaction to news that they cannot escape from different channels, will start thinking about the news, and will start having a variety of thoughts on it." He says: "our protective instinct is misguided because we do not realise that we are doing more harm than good, as talking is therapeutic." It is futile to follow the don't talk, don't see ostrich policy in the time of media explosion.

He says it is important for adults to let children air their thoughts, as it is a way of "healthy release" and a means to ensure that they talk their way through any negative thoughts and emotions which, if not released, "may linger".

It's not about short-term trauma alone, but long-term impact

There are larger implications of not talking to children about a mass crime on children such as this one. "If not dealt with correctly, children may begin to harbour thoughts of stereotyping of communities as a response to the terrorists' acts, which can begin at an early and carry on to adulthood," says Parikh.

When talking, he recommends proactive measures: adults should look out for expressions of fear and insecurity, which are the natural responses to a crime like this, and then make efforts to "reinstate the feeling of security" in the children, that they are safe and that the adults around them, at school and home, will ensure their safety.

Both at the level of collective societies and the individual parent-child level, it is important to build this feeling of safety, as fear and insecurity tends to build adults who may then "take to other forms of aggression as a response to unaddressed feelings of insecurity and fear", building aggressive societies.

Violent societies will feel the impact more

According to Parikh, while the impact of the Peshawar massacre is "huge" it will be felt at multiple levels - at the level of those who survived the attack at the Army Public School, the children are most likely to develop Post-Traumatic Stress reaction and will need professional counselling. He says those around them - family and friends and the larger circle - are also likely to experience some form of PTSD.

At the larger level of the spread of news in real time, while the world's children are affected by the crime, Parikh says it is societies "where violence is already high which will feel the maximum impact". He says while a madman going on a rampage in, say, Europe, is also frightening for kids, it is not likely to hit home as much a terrorist attack such as Peshawar, because we are already exposed to cases of terrorism and the fear comes closer home.

The basic message: don't dither, talk. Talk responsibly to your children before the fear sets in and it is too late.