How dare you say I don't look like my baby's mother?

"Oh! You are a mommie. You don't look like one."

And, if you please, I am mighty pleased when someone says that I am fit, but they just rub me up the wrong way when they say, "Oh, this is your boy. You don't look like a mommie. He doesn't look like he is yours!" That is unacceptable.

For the way you make being a mother seem easy, you deserve a medal. When you battle the excruciating labour, when the little one comes to the world, every moment of hard work that goes into seeing your babies - your hearts - roaming about; peeing, puking, and what have you. It is a commendable job that compares to none.

As a mother, I am as much in your club. But I have a problem with the way some of you shame fellow mothers. It's time you quit berating your achievements by shaming your bodies, please. You could be healthy, or overweight (depending on your BMI), you could be suffering from a serious condition like hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism, but this, my friends, is no criterion to measure your motherhood.

Weight issues are specific and cannot be used to shame one another. What makes it more appalling is we shame women who are fit. Do mothers have a "look"? Should they appear forever unfit, unkempt and in need of grooming? Does running around all the time, looking like a zombie, their foremost duty? Do they always have to have their hair tied in tall buns, left uncombed for years?

Of course, it is a thankless job that takes a toll on you. But should you make it seem torturous and make ghosts out of normal people!

Every mother works tirelessly - inside and outside her home. But it doesn't take hours to look presentable: it is your prerogative, a choice you make and one others must respect. Why do some mothers then find it convenient to mock others like me, who make the extra effort to care for themselves? I'm a great mother, and I don't need anyone to endorse my motherhood.

Stop liking and sharing photos of messy buns, captioning them "This hairstyle is called I have kids." I have no problem with messy buns. I find them sexy. But why call it a mommie-bun? It takes a minute to brush your lovely tresses if you like clean buns or plaited hair, or fancy leaving it loose. Do not stereotype mothers.

You do not have to look like a ghost because you're a mother.

If I am driving to work, a kajal in my bag, some loose powder and gloss do it for me. I can cover my eyes and look presentable after a sleepless night spent trying to put my toddler to sleep. If you don't do it, it is your choice. You would still look stunning and beautiful. But my appearance gives you no right to comment on whether I am a good or bad mother, much less whether I "look like a mother".

Can someone who likes to wear minis, skirts, ripped jeans, or even a bikini, not be a mother?

Are you telling her she isn't responsible enough because she dresses up in shorts and t-shirts, and sports the latest trends with as much spunk?

I think fashion is about your personal style and being "fashionable" (I have a problem with that term too) does not make you a bad mother or a non-mother.

Why stare at me for looking good? Trust me, #Ididnotwakeuplikethat. I made the effort. Despite my mommie issues, and I have a long list just like yours, I am a pretty good mother.

Isn't it bad enough that men shame women for their clothes, their looks - for being a woman? Let's not join that demonic bandwagon. Being a woman, I just wish I did not have to write this letter to reinstate this to other mothers.

I assure you, a fit mother who can care for herself can take good care of her kids. It is just a matter of choice and smart time management.

So the next time you appreciate or envy the way a fit, sexy or well-groomed a mother looks, keep your silence. And in case you want to compliment a fit mother, never say, "This baby does not look like he is yours. You are so fit". You are shaming your own healthy selves. If you know what I mean.