6 promises every Indian mother must make to the woman in her
It's a cliché, but true nonetheless. Once you have a child or two, there's a part of yourself that you relinquish forever. As each year goes by, and the children become more demanding, first physically, then emotionally, the scales keep tilting.
The woman in you gets just a little bit weighed down by the mother, and before you know it, you find yourself identifying with that image - the multi-tasking modern version of the Goddess with many arms. The image I hate because it perpetuates the stereotype that the mother is a Superwoman who can do it all.
This International Women's Day, here are six promises the mother in us needs to make to the woman in us.
1. I will take time out to have fun: Go dancing, meet your school friends for lunch, watch the movies you've been dying to or disappear to the salon for half a day. Commit to having fun and relaxing. Many of us find the time to do just what is necessary, so we'll get that blood test (after months of forgetting, yes), we'll probably find the time to exercise (because health is important), but when it comes to taking time out for pure fun, oh God, the guilt will just wear us down so much that we'll eventually call it off or postpone it or just not enjoy it as much.
2. I will pursue my career the way anyone else would: If you've committed to a career, there's no reason you can't make arrangements if you need to work late, travel, work on weekends or do whatever it takes to be the best you can be. Everything can be worked out. You just have to believe in it and want it enough.
3. I will invest in myself: If it's further studies, or a language class, or any hobby you enjoy, do it. The fact is, you can't be interesting for your children or anyone else if you are not interesting to yourself. Build on the facets of your personality that you want to, and don't shy away from making yourself the best possible version of you.
4. I will spend time with my parents: And not just because the Bombay High Court has ruled that married daughters need to look after their parents. You need to find the time to either help them with things they may need help with - uploading a passport application online or netbanking - or just spend time with them being a little girl again. You were a daughter before you became all of those other things that your life is now consumed by.
5. I will indulge: Don't put away that chocolate you love, for your kid; eat it. Sleep in late on a Sunday, get that spa treatment or protein hair spa or highlights without doing the math (I could do this with that cash). And enjoy your food. Take your time over a good meal and good conversation and good glass of wine. You may not be able to do it often but don't give up on it totally.
6. I will dress up: Don't always adhere to the mommy code; put away the work clothes (read tracks and sneakers), and dress up sometimes. Buy the kind of clothes you would have earlier and enjoy your shopping expeditions - don't think of it as a chore that can be completed in bed with a couple of clicks on the iPad after the kids have slept.
Get ready, even if it's for a PTM or for a lunch or even to work. Don't think it doesn't matter anymore, because honestly it never should have mattered to anyone else but you. So do it for you. Wear lipstick, and care about the reflection in the mirror. While feeling good translates to looking good, don't underestimate the power of the inverse of that.