Will we ever let women stomach alcohol and embrace sexual freedom?
You have XX chromosome! You are a woman. Step aside for a special check! It will involve frisking the mind, forcefully staring at your behavioural patterns, digging deep into your thought process, nailing in terms of percentage your audacity to live life on your terms, mapping why you like what you are not allowed to, then finally flashing it as the lead news in national dailies. In this country we prefer to keep two sets of morals, one for men and one for women and any woman with the morals of a man is definitely up for scrutiny.
A study that alcohol doesn’t go down well with women surpassed all national news and beat them to the prized position of the first news in a leading national daily.
There is news and there is sensationalisation of news but beyond that, there is now a news category to propagate spicy stereotypes. To put it point blank, such prime position given to a research based on gender to assert that women and alcohol make an unhealthy mixture, smacks of gender bias. Prioritising this piece of news is just an extension of the typical mindset which rushes to judge a woman at every given chance.
Stereotyping women
This newspaper must have been shoved up the nose of many women with lengthy lectures on see I always told you this. For every man or father who "disapproves" of a woman drinking alcohol, this prioritisation of news must be the final weapon. Proudly, he would force his wisdom — “a woman’s body can’t take alcohol!”
The creation of a spicy gender-biased research analysis to propagate stereotypes in a country like India forces one to question beyond intention, the very mindset that promotes such picking of news. Will there ever be a bias-level check for people who are supposed to be the pinnacle of informed awareness? Will they own up to the fact that they are guided by the same prejudices that judge a woman after she is eve-teased, molested, raped or gang-raped. The theories that float are:
a) She asked for it by wearing short clothes.
b) She was drunk, implying again that she had asked for it.
Yes, people in this country have the audacity to infer that it is okay to rape a woman if she wears short clothes and even more if she has consumed alcohol and specially so if she wanders out at night.
Why else would the headline scream on the compatibility of women and alcohol? Why would it be a verdict on her physical anatomy not suited for alcohol consumption? Tailor-made for gender judging consumers?
The very point of reference for deciding issues, their prioritisation, language to be used is slave to a very lopsided understanding of gender issues and biases. Even without any concrete intention we squeeze information into popular gender segments.
How will this mindset change?
I would like to put forth the example of the nomadic Tuareg tribe of the Sahara desert to just broaden the horizon a little.
Take this! Hope to see you blush at this. Their women are allowed to have multiple sexual partners outside of marriage. Yes, you heard it right.
Sexual freedom
In this Islamic tribe, women embrace sexual freedom. Would sound alien for most in India?
Listen to this.
Before a woman marries, she is free to take as many lovers as she wants.
“The tribe turns a blind eye,” explains Henrietta Butler, a photographer who has studied the tribe. “The young girls have the same great freedoms as the boys”, he adds. Women in this tribe lose none of their power once they marry either.
Her tent is the power centre. So revered are women by their son-in-laws that the young men wouldn’t dare to eat in the same room.
Many marriages end in divorce among the Tuareg. And when it happens, it is the wife who keeps the property, both the animals and the tent. And it is she who normally decides that she’s had enough.
Hijab-wearing men
And there is no shame in divorce. Families will often throw their daughters a divorce party, to let other men know they are available once more.
The final eye-opener is that it is the men who cover their faces and not the women. Reason? They say that their women are beautiful!
Young boys start covering their face at the age of six and later veil themselves as they grow into men.
I am not declaring any ideal situation. I am just requesting a re-look at reference points for prioritisation, analysis and conclusion of gender issues. For some reasons, alcohol doesn’t metabolise as quickly for women as it does for men (part of the research flashed as lead news), is a piece of information that could well be a little piece in some lifestyle page.
Jane Austen in Persuasion wrote, "I hate to hear you talk about all ladies as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives."