The strange relish India takes in shaming rape survivors
In a bizarre incident, a rape survivor was asked to prove "purity" by undergoing a sanctity test in a Gujarat village. According to local norms, the survivor has to keep a 40 kilogram rock on her head in order to prove her purity, and all this, to be able to continue living with her husband.
The Indian society, for decades, has been failing rape survivors on all fronts. Not only are they tagged "impure" and referred to as "victims", but are also made to go through the haunting experience of verbally recounting the scene umpteen times in different circumstances, if at all the individual has the courage to talk about it.
Social conditioning
If the rape survivor is a woman, the very first reaction from the society is that she's lost her purity and dignity. The idea of associating virginity and/or monogamous sexual life of a woman to purity and dignity is plain ridiculous. The concept of a woman losing her dignity and virtues, if raped, is strongly instilled in the minds of Indians. The survivor is looked at with misplaced sympathy for losing her most sacred virtue. This can be a huge blow to the self-esteem of the survivor. Blaming the individual for rape is customary. We are in a land where the rapist blames the victim for fighting back that uncalled for sexual intrusion and where the society at least subconsciously nod in agreement.
In case the survivor is a male, the initial reaction from the society will be that he is making a false claim. Though, the number of such cases is less, men are far more doomed when it comes to being a rape survivor. Same is the case with LGBTQ community members.
Speaking up
In a society where sex is a taboo and talking about sex is considered indecent, talking about rape is something that requires a lot of courage. The above mentioned "Oh my God, she's lost her purity" reaction that a survivor gets is the first hindrance to speaking up about rape. If the survivor gathers courage and decides to talk about the bad experience, chances are high that even the family members might not stand by her, for their worry would be about a good alliance for the girl in the future. In India, getting an alliance for a woman who was raped is tough, but the rapists are married off very soon after the news about the crime they committed surfaces. Assuming the family is supportive, the next phase she's to go through includes the innumerous amount of interrogations, be it from the police, media or in the court from the advocates. Revisiting those moments, no matter for what, is certainly not a pleasant experience. Pointed questions about the way rape happened, number of times it happened, asking the survivor to describe the offender/offenders et al, in front of a large group of strangers in the court room is in a way uncouth.
Purification rituals
There have been many cases where the rape accusations were false. It is a sad truth that there are some women who try to take advantage of this crime to either defame another individual or for monetary purposes. But what this has done to the real rape victims is undergoing various tests and examinations to prove that they were actually raped. This, however, can be understood and is needed for the judiciary to ensure it is not punishing any innocents. What is absurd is the demand to prove the "purity" of the rape survivor. The rape survivor in Gujarat being asked to keep a 40 kilogram rock on her head to prove her purity is just one such example.
Another ridiculous ritual prevalent in Gujarat's "Devipujak" community is to "purify" the rape survivor. A shaman who practices black magic conducts this purification test by asking the survivor a series of questions and checks if she's telling the truth by taking a pinch of barley seeds in his hand, and asking her to say whether the number of seeds in his hand is an even or odd number. If answered correctly, she is considered "purified". If answered incorrectly, the entire process has to be repeated, but this time around, with a 10 kilogram stone on her head.
Shaming the survivor
The survivor is thrown into a situation where the individual is made to feel that death is better than surviving. She's blamed for being out there on the road, for dressing a particular way, for having male friends, for being in a relationship, for being in a circumstance that rape happened and even stating her inability to fight back at the time of rape. Why is it so tough for Indians to understand that the only reason for a rape is the filthy act of a cruel rapist and nothing else? Not her attire, not her job, not her male friends, not her boyfriend, not her lifestyle and certainly not her physical inability to fight back. The survivor will shut themselves to everyone else if blames are all what she gets from the society. It is high time we realise that it is the rapists mistake and how much ever religious leaders and politicians shout on top of their voice that it is that victim's fault, it is not!
As a community, let us work towards helping the rape survivors not by making them feel victimised, but by giving them hope, courage and support to fight. Not with our unwanted, unwonted sympathy.