Dhoni, your poor excuses are a joke

Trust Mahendra Singh Dhoni to liven up what are usually dull and boring press conferences. On Saturday, after the Indian team lost the second Test to Australia by four wickets, the skipper made some startling revelations.

He spoke of unrest in the dressing room and calmness going for a toss. If one had heard Dhoni say all this on live streaming, one may have got truly confused.

Agreed, defeats are tough to stomach, but this was more as if Dhoni had been caught at the Lindt café in Sydney last week, where a loon had taken hostages with a gun in hand.

Those who have heard Dhoni speak over the years know how good he is at spinning a yarn. On a day when discipline was what the Indian batsmen needed, proceedings took a turn for the worse right at the start when opener Shikhar Dhawan (overnight 26) did not go out to resume his innings.

Apparently, Dhawan took a blow on his right wrist before the start of play, which has been ascribed to the Brisbane practice pitches being sub-standard. However, Gabba chief curator Kevin Mitchell said there was nothing wrong with the practice wickets and even the Aussies had used the same.

Back to Dhoni and the art of bluffing — his comments on confusion and unrest in the dressing room are indeed laughable. By the time the Test got over, a whisper campaign had begun to suggest that Dhawan had feigned injury because when he returned to bat at number eight and scored 81 runs, there was no sign of discomfort.

There were some who went to the extent of saying that Dhawan had "chickened" out as he did not want to face the Aussie pace battery early on.

While such remarks are laughable and in poor taste, the fact remains that even if a batsman is unable to go out and bat, the next man padded up has to walk to the pitch.

The rule says when a batsman gets out, the next man has to go in within three minutes. The next man in was Virat Kohli and his one-run knock did trigger a slide which the Indians are well known for.

If one does a post-mortem of what all went wrong in the Gabba Test, Dhoni needs to be told it was not unrest on Saturday which did the damage, but India scoring 408 in the first innings instead of a possible 500.

Then, when the Aussies batted, Dhoni’s bowlers let them score 505 after they were six down for 247.

Call it a batting failure or bowling failure or an overall failure, the fact is the Indians have started complaining about all things under the sun. As captain of the side, even if there was some uncertainty when Dhawan did not or could not go out to bat, it was Dhoni’s job to ensure there was calm.

Dhoni’s role is not only to keep wickets and bat. He is the commander who has to ensure the players are unruffled and that the task of competing against the Aussies in a Test match is done with zest.

If you take a look at the big flop show of the tour till now, it has to be Rohit Sharma, now being described as "No-hit" Sharma.

He has talent but of what use is talent when it cannot be used to score runs when the team needs them the most? As one who scored a breathtaking 264 in the Kolkata ODI last month against the Sri Lankans, his failure against the Aussie pacers is glaring.

And what does one make of the Indian players now crying over lack of vegetarian food? Agreed, Down Under, you will not get spicy Indian dhaba food like at home, but as seasoned players who have travelled abroad, they need to take care of their diet.

Cricketers are not supposed to be eating huge meals at lunch as they are supposed to stay light on the stomach.

There are reports that two vegetarians — Ishant Sharma and Suresh Raina — went out with team director Ravi Shastri to buy veggie food but were not allowed to carry it back into the stadium.

To suggest the Aussies wanted to starve the non-meat eaters in the Indian side is laughable. Looking at the way vegetarian Ishant Sharma bowled in the match, he did seem hungry for success.

The lanky pacer took three Aussie wickets in the first innings and another three in the second on Saturday to show that hunger does not kill appetite when one bowls fast.

Maybe now, Ishant should tell us what he ate in the absence of veggie food that he still found the energy to hit the deck hard.