Traumatising tale on TV of woman raped for years leaves you cold
Domestic violence, child sexual abuse and marital rape are just “things” Indian society continues to shove under the rug. These are topics we don’t want to - forget discuss - acknowledge at all. Is that why a discussion like that has to happen on a Jerry Springer-like television show, punctuated by dramatic sound effects?
On the latest episode of Solvedhellam Unmai, a controversial Tamil reality show, aired on May 23, the audience heard the tale of Latha (name changed). The 20-year-old from Tirunelveli in Tamil Nadu narrated a horrific tale of sexual violence, neglect and societal apathy. To top it all, the episode dealt with a problem that continues to plague our society: the shame of a rape survivor.
The horrific tale
Her story begins at the age of 12 when her father, who was mentally ill, left the family after discovering that his wife was having an affair. The man, with whom her mother was having an affair, Vaikundashekhar, began visiting the family frequently after that. In fact, soon enough, he started living with them. It was not long before Vaikundashekhar started molesting Latha. He would touch her inappropriately, and ultimately raped her, several times.
Any complaints about his behaviour would be ignored by her mother. It was when she was in the ninth grade that Latha got pregnant. This should have been the point when Latha’s mother should have taken things in her hand. Alas, that did not happen.
Latha, being a child, did not know that she was pregnant. She was told that it was a tumour in her stomach. It was only when she went into labour, and had to be operated upon (post which she was comatose for 15 days), that she figured out what had happened.
This was seven years ago, but thing have not changed for Latha. In fact, they have got worse.
Her child is now seven years old, and lives with the family, that includes her rapist. Vaikundashekhar may not be a member of the family yet, but not for lack of trying. Latha’s family soon began forcing her to marry him.
While Vaikundashekhar continued to abuse and rape her over the years, Latha said she finally decided to speak out because her family was forcing her to get married to him. "I bought a cellphone without my family’s knowledge and that really angered them. On top of this, they were asking me to stop studying. They want me to get married to my 'mama' (how she refers to her rapist) in June. But all I want to do is study, get a job and leave this place," said Latha, who is currently pursuing a Bachelor's degree in commerce.
Latha, who continued to suffer violence at the hands of her “mama”, finally fled home after she talked to the producer of the reality show, who housed her at a hotel in Chennai.
"He hit her with a belt and even tried to file a police complaint that she was talking on the phone to a boy. He thinks of her as his property," said Lakshmi Ramakrishnan, the show’s anchor.
The rapist’s nauseating defence
But if all of this sounds sad, disturbing and disgusting, it is nothing compared to how Latha’s mother and her rapist defended their actions on the show. Yes. The show’s producers brought them on the show as well. But as cringe-worthy as that decision may be, it is nowhere in the same league as the answers of the rapist and his accessory - the mother.
Latha's mother defended her actions – being a silent spectator to years of rape and abuse – by saying: "He paid for everything and is making her and her younger brother study.”
And if that’s bad, Vaikundashekar, the rapist, justified his actions by saying: "It is not like I raped her and ran away. I am earning money and making her and her brother study. I haven't betrayed anyone.”
"They could have sent me to jail for this back then. I would have come out in two months and been happy. Now I am suffering for the last seven years," he added.
Bravo. A classic case of how the rapist is the real victim.
The aftermath
Despite the story coming out, and despite her repeated pleas of not wanting to go back home to her rapist, Latha was taken away. Throughout the show, Latha’s mother maintained that she should return or she will bring “shame” to them. She also emotionally blackmailed her by implying that her not returning home would result in her brother’s education being in jeopardy.
After the show, Lakshmi, the anchor, spoke to Latha’s mother to convince her that her actions were wrong. It would seem that she may have been successful, had it not been for the fact that Latha is no longer to be found by the show’s producers. When the organisers of the show attempted to call the girl and her mother on Tuesday (May 23) afternoon, they were not reachable.
"After the show, I spoke to her mother and she claimed to understand that what she did was wrong. In fact, we had planned a press meet on Tuesday and after that they were to go to Tirunelveli district to file a case in the SP's office,” Lakshmi told The News Minute.
"The mother seems to have brainwashed the girl and taken her away. They left without telling us," the anchor said. "The girl was told that her son had fever. Perhaps they used the child and her brother's future to emotionally blackmail her," she added.
Child sexual abuse in India
A reality show, no matter how ill-equipped in dealing with a topic as sensitive as this, highlights a huge problem that plagues India: child sexual abuse.
According to a recent survey conducted by World Vision India – a humanitarian organisation – one in every two children is a victim of child sexual abuse. Can you imagine that - 50 per cent of children are molested or sexually abused.
The survey, participated in by more than 45,000 children in the 12-18 age group, across 26 states in the country, also revealed that one in four families do not come forward to report child abuse.
“With 98 per cent of rapes being committed by people known to the children, I feel it is time that we all come under one banner to focus our work around child protection,” said World Vision India national director Cherian Thomas.
Normalising rape and abuse in India
While this is technically not a case of marital rape, it is definitely close enough in terms of how society views it. The legitimisation of suffering and abuse under the shroud of marriage is a real thing. In Latha’s case, the suffering she has endured for almost a decade, it is believed will be nullified by getting her married to her rapist.
According to women and child development minister Maneka Gandhi, “It is considered that the concept of marital rape, as understood internationally, cannot be suitably applied in the Indian context due to various factors like level of education/illiteracy, poverty, myriad social customs and values, religious beliefs and mindset of the society to treat the marriage as a sacrament, etc.”
Gandhi’s remarks, patronising and ill-worded as they may be, reflect the common Indian mindset. If it’s happening within a “sacred” institution, it is fine.
Another issue that comes into the spotlight is how rape survivors are shamed. The whole idea of Latha being blackmailed with shame and responsibility, into going back home begs the question: just how long are we going to sweep sexual abuse under the carpet, fearing societal shame?