I could not say no: How a friend coerced me into sex
Consent is simple: Yes is yes, and no means no.
Consent is a green light, and no consent is the big, red light forcing you to come to a screeching halt.
There is no middle ground. You either have it, or you don’t.
Except, what if that isn’t the case?
There’s a yellow light in-between those red and green lights.
The yellow light is the gray area between yes and no.
What in this world is as simple as yes and no? Nothing is black and white, and sex is no exception.
I was best friends with a guy for a very long time, and we were extremely close.
I seemed to ground him, and he encouraged me to go after everything I wanted out of life.
I always had a feeling he wanted more from our friendship, but I never had the desire to cross that line.
So, I never brought it up, choosing instead to live in feigned, blissful ignorance.
One cold night in January, I needed to hire a lawyer to fight against an abusive ex-boyfriend. The one I was put in touch with asked for $5,000 in legal fees, a price I just couldn’t afford at that time.
I was considering dropping the case and letting my ex get away with what he had done, but my friend urged me to hire the lawyer.
It was the right thing to do, and I had to fight.
He offered to pay the $5,000 in full. I declined over and over again.
But, he had painted a picture in my head of my ex coming after me.
Fear settled in, and I was convinced I needed his money to pay for the lawyer that would keep me and my family safe.
After sending out his check to the lawyer, we went out for dinner to celebrate the first step in securing my safety. In the quiet of his car, he leaned over and kissed me.
My insides exploded from the excitement.
Was this really happening? Our friendship, years in the making, felt like it had led to this point.
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