Bharatiya sanskar lets creeps make 'leaked MMS', but shames consenting adults
On a lazy Tuesday week-off, I chanced upon a widely-shared post on my Facebook feed. It was about a couple getting intimate on the Delhi Metro. I could see that the "sanskari" brigade was already outraged, sharing the video vehemently with nasty comments.
This needed a deep dive, so I probed further and got to the original post and the video (now deleted). With some exposure to how these matters of sanskar are treated in India, I started by inspecting what the girl was wearing. As surprising as it may seem, there was no short skirt, tank top or a body-hugging pair of jeans – just a pair of beige trousers and a full-sleeved grey shirt.
I now used sanskari litmus number two.
Whose fault was it? Clearly, the girl is answerable (taking a leaf out of our exhaustive moral vocabulary, the latest addition being the movie Pink). She consented to the guy getting intimate with her, that too in a public place. After all, the Metro is "family" transportation.
We know there is always the choice to look the other way when a man is gropes a woman while using public transport or goes about leering, drooling, even using force on her. But this one cannot be ignored. It has to be watched and carefully recorded. Not just that, it has to be released on social media to shame the "besharam ladki". And then there is a barrage of comments about the "besharam ladki". Doesn’t matter if getting intimate needs two.
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| The video has to be released on social media to shame the "besharam ladki". |
Someone commented that she is worse than a prostitute, a woman questioned her upbringing, many asked why would such women not be raped, few others asked why guys must be asked to keep themselves in check when girls are like "her" and so on.
Honestly, the video was such a disappointment not because it was "anti-sanskar", but because all the couple did was touch each other intimately, hug a few times and hold each other real close. That is it! All this backlash for getting intimate in the Metro? What if they would have actually made out! God forbid.
That does not absolve them of the crime committed. India is not like other countries where kissing, hugging et al in public is absolutely normal. If you feel affectionate towards your partner, better keep it to yourself. The public is not interested.
And quiet obviously, if it really happened, how can we blame the guy? He is not responsible for the irresponsible behaviour of the girl in question. And can you believe it? This woman has the courage to be herself, on her own terms. You really think you can take away the right to live a badass life from men and share it with women? Impossible.
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| This woman has the courage to be natural and herself, on her own terms? Preposterous! |
These two may not even have kissed, but even if they had, they are two young adults getting intimate, consensually. The location may not be ideal. But does that justify shooting a video?
This man had the courage to record them, question the girl’s upbringing and justify the rape culture, and many men and women followed suit on social media. They went to the extent of saying she deserved to be been beaten up.
Can we dare bring the guy who posted this video to book? How would he have been treated in any other country outside India? Can the woman trust law to complain against the infringement on her privacy?
Simple questions. But sanskari people are not supposed to ask such questions of Indian society. So, let's move on.