A young bisexual talks about the lack of fun queer Indian content online
I’m a queer Indian woman in my 20s, and like practically every young desi urbanite – queer or otherwise – I devour pop culture and internet trends.
I’m amazed at the dizzying speeds at which Indian digital media has been making headway of late, with each new day churning out a fresh smorgasbord of relevant, shareable, decidedly desi content. I love that there are listicles and memes that cover almost every aspect of the average millennial’s everyday life, right from the nadir of annoyance that is an excruciatingly sanskari cousin to the inexplicable joys of hailing an auto that agrees to take you to your desired destination on your very first attempt.
But I say "almost" because there’s still a huge part of me that remains woefully unfulfilled by the Indian online space. The part where I’m a brown girl who sometimes fancies being with other brown girls.
Last week, the internet broke the news of Wonder Woman being gay. Much as I was thrilled (which frankly wasn’t a lot compared to the elation I felt at discovering that SNL’s Kate McKinnon was a lesbian or when, years ago, JK Rowling revealed that Albus Dumbledore was totally into Gellert Grindelwald), deep down, there was only so much excitement I could garner about this piece of information.
Don’t get me wrong. From a larger, socio-cultural standpoint, I know that it’s a huge deal that queer women everywhere now have an iconic "mainstream" character in which they can see themselves. On a personal level, however, it did not make much of a difference, because I did not grow up with American comic books. No, like a majority of Indians, I was raised on a staple diet of Bollywood, in particular, Shah Rukh Khan in a see-through shirt and Madhuri Dixit with her heaving bosom. And I’m really tired of having to abandon my unabashed desi-ness and turn to Hollywood and global media every time I want to give the queer side of me a little nudge.
Because, alas, in the realm of "casual, relatable content", there’s not much out there that caters to the queer population of India, which we could perhaps share on our social media pages / Whatsapp groups, or tag friends in for a few laughs. There are, of course, publications like Pink Pages solely dedicated to intrepid LGBT reportage. In mainstream media, however, the LGBT beat is pretty much limited to colourful pictures of the prides, reports covering heartwarming (big or small) developments in the community (shout out to the new LGBT-powered radio cab service!) and the occasional Harish Iyer think piece.
Not one meme or listicle, however, that encapsulates the idiosyncrasies or everyday banter of queer, brown people in a light, humorous manner.
Now I appreciate the fact that the stuff published by websites like BuzzFeed India almost always strives towards gender-neutrality. I truly do. But it is precisely why their total erasure of the gay outlook of the world is so disappointing. When you keep putting up images, for instance, of female celebs whose "baes" invariably seem to be men by default, there’s an entire section of women you end up alienating. Women who do not quite relate to your hetero-normative posts, and don’t, in fact, think they’re "on fleek". Nah, on the contrary, they find them "unfamiliar AF".
Honestly, why has nobody yet thought of captioning that frequently-shared crying shot of SRK something on the lines of “When your gaydar’s been blinking green but he shows up with a girlfriend”? Or “When the cute Tinder match asks if you’ll participate in a threesome with him and his girlfriend” with the hash tag “#BiProblems” for that GIF of Kajol rolling her eyes? And speaking of Tinder, possibly the most persistently trending topic in the country, when could I hope to stumble upon a funny listicle on the online dating experiences of queer people in India? Or any listicle at all about the numerous joys and pains of our everyday existence?
I know I could do with a few tragicomic pieces that speak to me. And while you’re at it, a 100-second video written in the queer idiom would do too. Preferably better than the one All India Bakchod made a couple of years ago which featured Imran Khan answering ridiculous questions Indians posed about the gay community, which, although funny, again only showed the perspective of a much married, cis-hetero dudebro who “totally supports the gays”. It’s high time our straight allies realised that what we need is assimilation, not solidarity.
Like most queer Indians, I suppose I’ve made my peace with the fact that it’s going to be a long time before I get to see an LGBT ensemble on the silver screen. Or witness a popular Indian celebrity coming out as gay. In a land where, until very recently, homosexuality was caricaturized and where a long line of famous actors rejected the role of a gay man which eventually went to Fawad Khan (not that we’re complaining), it’s obvious that we have a long, long way to go. And for now, I’ll make do with Wonder Woman.
But why has the great Indian interweb – purportedly more democratic and inclusive than real life, and the same phenomenon that gives us such gems as "Feminist Bollywood GIFs", "Sassy Socialist Memes", "Royal Existentialists" and even the desi sibling of the Grumpy Cat, "Bakchod Billi", failed to create a subculture of viral queer memes?
'Cuz, man, our collective newsfeeds could sure do with a solid dose of fabulousness.