Humour

Mehr Tarar is a loony, there is more to Pakistan

Kamlesh SinghDecember 19, 2014 | 20:08 IST

Dear brothers, Mehr Tarar is one of the sanest voices from across the border, according to people across the border. Because for this side, she is a loony tiny toon, we aren’t allowed to watch. Poor thing hasn’t slept for two nights as the images of Peshawar children haunt her. Oh, so you find it patronising that I call her a poor thing, huh? Among the many good things about religion is the fact that patronising women is a good thing, and I am just exercising my religious right here. You want me to treat women as equals; go join those atheist bastards, who have no piety or principle to live up to. They don't even have a god to pray to. No heaven, no hell. Nothing happens to them. They cease to exist. 

This is not about atheists. This is about women. This Tarar woman is one of the strongest voices against terrorism of all kinds, and sounds very sensible. She is wimpy and wonky rolled into one, as if there is such a thing. She tweeted on Thursday morning: “May Allah keep the smiles of all the children in the world bright and carefree. May no child ever be buried by a parent. May you all be safe.” Delusional piece of fahashi.

Indian children lighting candles for the children killed in Peshawar, just like the Pakistani liberals. Do you need more evidence to prove their collusion?

I have trust issues with people who can think and tweet on a groggy morning when you haven’t slept for two nights. What on earth does that mean? Does it mean Allah loves all the kids in the world? No, He loved about 132 of them from Army Public School, Peshawar, and so much that he called them upstairs for an eternal meet-and-greet till they they grow enough bodily hair to have sex with the houris. Does He love the kids’ smiles? Who knows, because wise people think wiping those smiles from the face of the earth is a small sacrifice for the greater purposes of serving Allah.

Why would I believe Mehr Tarar, who wears Western dresses, goes on holidays to Western destinations, is friends with infidels from India and attends seminars there, and, who knows, even has a drink or two? Tauba! She has admitted to having watched Hollywood and Bollywood films. Why will a pious Muslim, for who Pakistan was made and the ones it is full of, believe a half-believer like Tarar? Half believer because she struts around with a Muslim name with a book in hand. She reads books.

Is that a sari that we see? And a sleeveless blouse? We could accommodate these but she killed her chances by using a BlackBerry.

Yes, you read that right. She reads them. Notice the plural, when the singular source of all knowledge and wisdom lies on a rehal in her prayer room. Atheists read books because the losers were not given a book. Or the idolaters, who have so many books; they develop multiple personalities. We have one book and one identity. Why would one believe the one who reads many books when there are many who read the only one book worth reading?

She is a fan of Imran Khan and thinks he and his youthias will bring in Naya Pakistan. Well, Imran Khan is no fan of hers. He is a fan of Jamaat-e-Islami, whose ameer Munawar Hasan wanted to popularise the culture of Qataal fi Sabeel Allah. "Feel no remorse for the dead children. For greater purposes, these small sacrifices are obligatory. Murder in the way of the Almighty has begun. Inshallah!” Munawar Hasan was the ameer of Jamaat-e-Islami, not the mushrik Mehr Tarar, who regrets the small sacrifice Pakistanis made in the path of Allah. Hasan and Imran get along well. Hasan won’t touch Tarar with a bargepole with holy verses inscribed on them.

Imran Khan uses his pinkie to point out the Naya Pakistan he wants. Jamaat wants a culture of murder. Together they can bring Naya Pakistan and the naya culture.

Even the Taliban chap Muhammad Umar Khorasani makes better sense than these liberal loonies. Their faith is weak and their ways are un-Islamic, because of lack of religious education. They have hardly studied the Quran, so it is futile to expect them to be knowing about Hadith, the books that guide all Muslims. Did Mehr Tarar know that the Taliban were ordered to kill only those children who had pubic hair? Hair, we go again!

“The Peshawar attack is in complete accordance with the Prophet’s teachings because when the Prophet killed the Jewish tribe of Banu Qurayza, he put the same guideline, that only the children who have hair below their belly button are allowed to be killed. Killing of women and children is also in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet. Those who object to this claim can refer to Sahih Bukhari, Volume 5, Hadith 148.” That’s how Khorasani put it. He has the Zakir Naik kinda quality to quote from books and name and number stuff to confuse the dozakh out of the half-wit liberals. Have you ever seen such a logical sentence framed by Mehr Tarar? She can hardly name the Bukhari Hadith volumes.

These Mehr Tarars of our nation have this delusion that they follow Islam, and an excuse, saying it’s between her and her God. As if Allah was personal! God is for all the ummah, and the ummah have entrusted the ulema to deal with personal issues. Professor Hafiz Saeed has sacrificed young men in the path of Allah by sending them to India to kill Indians. Has Mehr Tarar served the Almighty like him? She is not even a professor.

Ashiq-e-Rasool: His demented looks aside, Malik Mumtaz Qadri is a Ghazi because he killed a governor for protecting a woman, a Christian woman, wait, a Christian woman accused of alleged blasphemy.

These are the same people who wanted Salman Taseer declared a martyr in spite of Taseer openly siding with a blasphemer Christian woman. What kind of man stands for a woman, who is a Christian and allegedly blasphemes the holy book? That’s so hell-worthy, three times over. Did Mehr kiss the cherubic cheeks of Ghazi Mumtaz Qadri’s photo (since kissing a man not married to you is a sin)?

She has loonies like Marvi Sirmed, Nadeem Paracha, Raza Rumi and so on. They fight among each other because they have different views on different issues, but they are betrayers all. These guys can’t agree on anything because they start thinking, on their own, instead of referring to the book. They have read so many books that their minds are irretrievably damaged. They all have in some way or the other condemned the Peshawar sacrifices and cried for the beloved children. They are bunch of India-loving ignorants ranting about equality, minority rights and girls’ education. You know why? They want girls educated and become morally corrupt like them, work in offices with men. 

Malala being installed with a chip in return for a pink teddy bear. If this was a video, she would start speaking in English just at this point. You still think West has no role to play in it?

Malala Yousafzai was getting education, and look what happened! The pious people, Jazakallah, had just about managed to send her upstairs, but the West saved her. She was shot in the head, and we shoot precise, but with their Satanic technologies, they managed to save her without even shaving her head full of hair. Then they inserted some chip in her brain, and this little slip of a girl from Swat was speaking fluent English overnight. She now talks like one of them. They gave her the world’s biggest prize just to spite us. We will come for you Sweden, but we gotta get our own Dar-ul-Islam in order first.

If you have any doubts about Jinnah, let these two dogs remove them. Did he know dogs are filthy? We have not banned Internet because the photos of cute cats outnumber those of dogs.

These liberal extremists quote Jinnah and call him the father of the nation. Indians have their father of the nation. Having any father but the father up in heaven is a sin. Jinnah was a bacon-loving, cigar-smoking, wine-swigging son of a Shia. Obviously he would love the minorities. He wanted Hindus to go to their temples, Christians to their churches. What was the need to create a brand new country if we had to allow all such depravity? How delusional! We don’t allow Ahmadis to go to their worship buildings with pointy towers. Heck, we don’t allow them to call their worship places with pointy things, mosques and minarets.

Shias wouldn’t be able to mark Ashura if the Army gave us a free hand. We are Allah’s soldiers who have managed to grind Hindus, Christians to the dust. Well, almost. We will ensure the rif-raff-rafidah also lick our boots, as long as the Saudi money keeps flowing in. We love riyal. We hate… err… well let that be. Too many things to list.

Ghazi Fakru,

Lahore, al-Bakistan

PS: We haven’t found a verse or hadith to deny girls' education. But we oppose it anyway. We don’t want more Mehr Tarars. They hang out with the educated folk and don't even look at us. When they do, they do so with disdain. Also, she is pretty and talks sense.

Last updated: December 19, 2014 | 20:08
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