That story on gang rape which went viral was about me speaking up

My phone has not got so much action ever. One minute I'm talking to Humans of Bombay, and the next I've gone viral. I'm hashtagged #victim #survivor and other buffet of hashtags.

Yes, I've spoken about this before. Once in an autobiographical play and in another to the masses, in Hindi, on a Hindi channel. The only thing I hadn't done before, was tell it on social media.

My post has seen both men and women responding. In the recent few days, I've come to know of four women who are going through domestic and sexual violence, and they are afraid to speak up. I want to help them, but if they are not ready we need to accept that. We start labelling people: you are not a man, you are not a woman, how can you take this - and give them low self esteem. I wanted to make that point.

Now so many people are writing in to say that they know they can speak about their traumas in their own time.

People label you as a victim or a survivor, but I'm neither. I'm just me. It's a difficult scale, but I am just a feminist. Though feminists have got a bad rap, especially in this country, I have nothing against men. I'd rather be a bad feminist than not be a feminist at all.

A lot of us have created an impression that India is the "rape capital of the world". My story took place in Chicago, so it was very important for me to talk about rape being a global issue, and that we need to treat it on that platform. If after reading my post, you feel anger towards the rapists, then I've failed. I don't want to hang them. I just want you to feel love for the survivors and include them in the society. Too much energy is spent on researching rapists, but no one talks about survivors. Rape does not define you.

NGOs have been doing some fantastic work, like the Beti Bachao project. I work at the grassroots level, and I find these women so strong, courageous and more open-minded to address these issues. Here in the city, they think this is a publicity stunt, but in the villages they know we want to help.

I haven't approached the Chicago authorities. I didn't tell anyone. I was petrified. But now it's really important for me to mention that I was wearing a short dress, was drunk, and was wearing red lipstick. I want to tell women that you can wear whatever you want, but that does not mean you are asking for it. I had a single mom so I didn't talk about it. I didn't want society to judge her. But now it's time to speak up.

(As told to Shilpa Rathnam.)